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so they say even most things never does seem to change even an year ago a person was telling me how this reality is flaw and the idea of a system that rises and falls happens a lot. Even with our chatter about such I kind of wonder how such a thing would happen then again lots of great cities in history left a mark of its beginning and down fall. Thinking about now kind of made me giggle since this kind chatter clicked with a few people I spoken with but I don't understand why now ? These last few weeks kind of made me feel annoyed but I'm sure you would get that way when you have nothing to do beside read bullshit stories nor read end of the world theories.
I found an old journal of mine that has password, hacks and code for an old MMO I stop playing few years ago. I don't understand why I kept this beside reading it made me feel nostalgic but angry at the sametime. Why ? I wouldn't know but I did remember burning it but its here like a bad memory. I found it in my closet with so many other things that I can't believe I had suddenly I kind of had this sicken feeling like I just dug up a body.
It seems like I'm a horder and it upset me but also made me want to laugh. I throw it away but the shocking thing I found but here a list I kept

* an old Christmas gift family member gave me
* few pc power cords and old phone chargers
* short stories with my chuunibyou state of mind
* very old drawings
* old bandages I wear in school ((mainly my leg))
* few keyborads
* old journals and poems
* text books

all store into the my closet but unbelievable I throw away three black trash bags of junk school work and crap I still can't believe I have so now it cleaner -- I still won't use my closet thinking about it made me feel uneasy.
I did notices something with I kind of felt annoyed about was my old drawings still live. . . well at least 150 or so page comic I did isn't there cause I burn it !! but. . . there are few old short comic I did there and that did bum me out.

Oh I kind of open up to few users I don't think I should but at least I could get it off my chest since it kind of upset me. By the way I kind of accidentally walked into a sex shop I mean it didn't look like one since it has some nice hats but once you go to the back on the shop things just got odd. outfits and adult toys kind of made me feel uneasy but that skirt does look cute still uneasy even with those BDSM items but did made me feel like drawing that scene and my thoughts but later on I kind of had this thought of a virtual novel I kind of wanted to do for some time at the sametime I hardly think I should do something like that even with this computer. I think I should buy a new computer or just get it upgraded since some of it is kind of outdated but I did catch the flu lately I feel like poop.
I even try to do fluffy pig tails but that annoyed me since I can't do it -- kind of made me want to cut my hair off since it got all fluffy and fuzzy it just bother me. I kind of started to paint me toe nails but I suck at painting nails but lately these past few weeks I kind of want to take very long nap even user told me I should sleep more since I normally would have like two to three hour sleep then we talk'd about my high school life since that was the time I started to do that sleep less thing. . . sorry but I don't think I have anything else to talk about beside my bumming headache nor anything else I want to get off my chest but new year is cool -- even its gonna be same issue like last year blah !!
~ayame