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When I last wrote in here I was a complete wreck. Now, however, I really feel at peace. I'll start from the beginning.

I was upset with myself. I was ashamed of myself. I tried to convince myself that it was all Mirado and not me. But I know that he is and always has been a part of me. It's like the human story about Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I couldn't bear to hurt anyone anymore so I decided that I had to be alone for the safety of others. At first I tried to convince Crayon to leave but I quickly realized that if I was the problem then I had to leave. I told her I would be gone for quite some time. My reckoning at the time was that it could be years so, thinking of her, I told her if she wanted to see other people I would understand. As usual, I said the wrong thing at the wrong time. She cried and quickly ran out. I think she has given up on me. I suppose that is for the best, given current conditions. But I'm jumping ahead of myself. I packed up and left on a journey that ended up lasting only days.

During that period I realized that I was in full control. I could change form and even fight without losing my sense of self. I felt elated and thought of returning home already. But I still had a choice to make. I loved Crayon but I loved Tuffy as well. At least, that's what it seemed. It was Tuffy that actually came out to visit me. She is pregnant with my children and somehow she can take dragon form like me. We might on a mountainside and I realized then that I had and always will love her. I feel that my romantic wanderings are finally over. We expressed our love in dragon form on the mountainside and stayed up there overnight before returning to the neighborhood the next day. I haven't wanted to leave her side ever since.

When we came back we encountered Elh. During my journey I was still in contact with Tuffy's emotions via the surveillance spell I had put on her for her own safety. Which reminds me, I need to ask her if she wishes for me to remove it. Anyway, I knew that he had begun to fall in love with her. Perhaps he had always loved her. I really can't say with what little information I gathered from the spell. When we returned he was pissed off. He changed before our eyes as his anger too hold. I was prepared to protect Tuffy with my life at that point, but fortunately he retreated to the treetops instead. I must say it gave me a feeling of deja vu. Looking up at him, it was like seeing Reiner up there again. Tuffy suggested that we return to her new home, which is now close to mine, and so we did. I have been here ever since. I'm helping her move her things and we're seriously thinking about attaching our two homes. I love her so deeply and it feels so right. I think I'll stop there. I may be forgetting something, but I suddenly feel very tired. I will try to write again before too long.