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So much has happend. I haven't had time to write in here. I used my new fire form to fight Reiner, but it developed into another personality within me. He represented all of my most fiery pent up emotions. He called himself Mirado. I warned Crayon and Tuffy about him. I didn't know what might make him come out. If he did come out, I would have no control. I was mostly concerned for Tuffy and rightly so. I went to visit her, to tell her about the biker party, and she was crying. I tried to console her and find out what happened. Her ex-roommate had been there and he beat her up. But she didn't just tell me this. She was distrought and she pulled her shirt off to show the bruises she had on her body. The pure malice I felt towards Harley and the sight of her bare breasts brought Mirado out and in full control. She managed to calm him down so he wouldn't go out and murder the man, but he ended up staying with her. Despite my warnings she welcomed him into her bed and...they made love. I still remember it vividly. It is something I wish I could forget. I weep when I think about how much I had hurt both Crayon and Tuffy. I try to remind myself that it was Mirado, not I, but it doesn't help the guilt. I recently wrote her a letter of apology and that has helped a little. Perhaps in time she can forgive me.

I'm not sure which was worse though, the things I did to Tuffy, or what I did to Reiner the next morning when he showed up. He came flying in with a swarm of small spawn and Mirado took him on in one on one combat. After a while, he wasn't even Mirado anymore. He was like a beast, a true monster that didn't care about anyone. Fortunately, my other personality and I formed an alliance and regained control once the fight was over. (That's right, I had yet another personality as well. It was the representation of my ice powers. We actually got along pretty well.) But if he had not been so weakend by the fight, or if we had failed to regain control, I shudder to think of what would have happened. I limped home feeling horrible both physically and mentally. Crayon visited me as I lay helpless in bed and she helped me to recover. I was able to repair my body and my soul. Now I am one person again. But there may be long-term damage still. While I was recuperating Tuffy came in, very angry at me. She yelled out that we had made love. Fortunately, Crayon still loves me and has not asked me to verify the truth of that statement. I'm better now, but I still need to mend things with Tuffy. I would hate to lose a good friend like her.

Oh, and the icing on the cake is what I heard from Anomaly today. She says that there will be more Reiner monsters soon. I shudder to think what they might do to the neighborhood, but I simply cannot fight anymore. If they come here, I will defend myself with all of my magic. I've started using spells again, I just hope they're enough.