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Ever since that dream from my last journal entry, I've been pretty emotionally unstable. Just ten minutes ago, I was crying. The silent type, luckily. I was thinking about the single promise that I kept breaking over and over. Everyday, I promised Sarah that things would get better. And everyday, I would be horribly wrong. She stopped believing in me and the relationship, but, like a fool, I continued to cling to empty promises and false fantasies of everything working out. I hate her. I hate her so much. And I hate myself. I hate myself for believing in the stupid relationship, for believing myself. For spitting out those promises everyday, and actually thinking I was right. I hate myself for being such a fool, for truly believing that I could fix things and save it. Of course, I'm happy I couldn't save it, or else I'd be stuck in that disgusting mess, dealing with her horrible attitude, her painful words, and her fake love.
I had this sort of period with Iruna as well. I was over her, things were going well, and a few months later, I get hit by a random memory that sent me spiraling back into depression. That was the last time though. This means I'm finally almost back to myself.
Soon she'll be forgotten. She won't even be a memory, she'll be absolutely nothing to me. No hate, no love, just nothing. Ha, I can't wait.