I had a dream...where blacks and whites lived in-
Wait, wrong dream.
I had a dream about Sarah, my first in many months. It wasn't a happy dream, it wasn't one of those "OMG, I STILL LIKE TOTALLY LOVE HER AND SHOULD STOP IGNORING HER!" type of dreams. No, it was cold, dark, and left me in a foul mood when I woke up. I don't really remember every part of the dream, but I can recall a few, although I can't say they're 100 percent accurate, since I forget most of it. I was pming someone on Gaia, just sending back pms, talking about nonsense, then they said, "Sarah needs to talk to you, and she swears it will be the last time, so do it." I, although reluctant, agreed, and within a minute, a pm showed up by Sarah. I clicked it, and it said in all caps, "I HATE YOU." So I put in all caps, "I HATE YOU TOO." Then sent it. Then everything went black, then I found myself in this weird kitchen, and Sarah was suddenly there too. We stared at each other, then started saying how we don't need each other, and how much we hate the other. That went one for who knows how long, then I screamed something through my tears. I don't exactly remember what it was, but it was enough to bring me out of that putrid nightmare. So I lied there, shaken and confused, until I could clear my mind, and try to think over the dream. I like to think all dreams have some significant meaning that we can dig up and apply to our life. Well, I've yet to find it. Anyway, I went over the dream, over and over, then the dream suddenly stopped coming to my mind when I called it, but instead, it seemed to summon memory upon memory of my time with Sarah, the good and the bad, the bad now greatly outnumbering the good. So I went over them all, and soon I found myself crying. Not the horrible wail type sobbing, not even a sniff, just tears that began to leak from my eyes and run down my cheeks. A silent cry, a personal rain. I was like that for about five minutes or so, until I managed to revive myself and shove those dark memories back into the recesses of my mind where they belong. Well, they don't belong in my mind, my heart, or anywhere else. I wish they were gone, I regret loving Sarah, and I regret all the memories. Anyway, I got up, washed my face, and went back into my room. It all has rekindled the hate I have for Sarah, and has left me in the worst of moods, so I don't plan on being talkative for a bit. Of course, without her, my life has been considerably better. She's no longer there to make me feel like s**t, or insult me and break down my confidence. I feel stronger without her, and that strength will hopefully fend off this 'leave-me-alone' attitude of mine and have me back to my good old self in no time. Man, this was my first journal update in awhile, but that sort of plays into the 'no-more-Sarah' thing. Remove the problem, and life tends to become much more lax. No problems, no worries, no stress, no pain, no nothing. Best of all, I think I'm in love, which slays the great and horrible beast that resided in my heart, formerly known as my feelings for Sarah. New feelings have flooded into my heart, washing away the mess left behind by my last relationship, and has eroded the great walls where our past was etched into. A fresh, clean start. It's a nice feeling, no, a great feeling.
Well, this started as me merely sharing my dream with my journal, and those who would have read it, but then it began to evolve. It turned into a rant about Sarah, then a happy end-of-story sort of ending. A happily ever after? Definitely.
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The Chronicles of Esan!
By: Lait-Kun, Thanks emotion_yatta
Questing: Stalemate Void
Add me on Discord: Esano#7984 emotion_dowant
By: Lait-Kun, Thanks emotion_yatta
Questing: Stalemate Void
Add me on Discord: Esano#7984 emotion_dowant