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Why has my life fallen apart!?! ~UGH~ All I wanted was to be happy was that to much ask??? He was my happiness my own no one elses.... Being with him made me feel so.... I don't know alive beyond others... When he spoke the sound of his voice lulled me all my fears everything went away..... Then.... after all that after loving him and getting used to seeing him he was gone..... just like that.... My friend was there actually there were two guys there but only one was able to withstand my crying for as long as the tears still fell..... Now everyone thinks I would hurt the one that so many tears from my eyes for.... Why... Why would someone think that???? Well now I have given up on all hope my eyes have run dry of tears and I sit alone looking at a wall for as long as posssible. Which is a very long time... When I am at school I put on the mask which is so familiar but vague at the same time... He made that mask go away now it is back.... and the only way it will ever leave is if he smiles at me once more and I hear his voice, feel his touch, his breath as he hugged me, the way he looked at me, the way he held on tilll the last minute like nothing else in the world mattered... I have tryed to think he would come back but that hope has dissapeared into the darkness that is all around me.... I watch the world from my little corner hoping that I would be rescued from the corner of my own little place.... I will wait forever if I must to be pulled from the dark and plunged back into the reality of this world....