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(Interlude 2...)

So...my girlfriend believes leaving me alone to brood is a good thing to do...
I guess I'm just a pathetic average man sometimes. I try too hard to solve my problems and other people's as well. Perhaps I am the one who should really back off. I love her so much that it hurts...emotionally, and physically. I should just continue to diligently pray for her and let God move, instead of trying to move for Him. My blind unyielding love makes me stubborn and aggressive, reverting back to the Cro Magnon side of my gender's heritage. rolleyes For a time, Kage will be rather angry and intense. He needs to discover his true power and destiny. He would appreciate if more people attended his dojo to help with that. Drago Darke (myself in real life, though not my actual name) also needs to discover himself. This time away from friends and school, lonely as it may feel, is a time of healing. The next 6 weeks are a challenge I feel impressed to put upon myself. In that time period I will more diligently seek the Lord and seek opportunities for myself. I will continue to play WoW (hopefully) and be on Gaia here and there, but my life WILL have me more attentatively elsewhere. I want to feel...improved...in 6 weeks. God willing, I'll have a job and a sense of freedom by then. The end result? The confidence and progression towards a changed heart that I have been seeking, and thusly, a celebration at Disneyland. The motivation is there, I can feel it. I truly believe there is a chance for me in the weeks to come. So pray for me, my friends and loved ones, that I return to you a new man. To my girlfriend, I truly wish you would be by my side through all this...but since that's physically impossible, and you don't feel like you should be otherwise, I won't press you. I know it sounds like I'm lecturing you, but truthfully the slaps you think i give you only exist in your mind. I never intend to say things that hurt, but it's a two-fold problem. One, my heart is bent on that I will inevitably hurt you with my words, and two, your heart is bent on that lack of diplomacy is always painful. One person can't change a relationship of two. I am doing my end, love. That's all I can say.