|
Rumors and Weeds
Weeds
I had to lie to my mom. She is starting to ask questions about yolies whereabouts. I told her today that it was none of her business and now I feel bad that I did. I feel bad I lied, but the probably is that if I tell her that she also moved in with Sam, then she would start making an issue of it. That's what I want to avoid. I had yolie move over tehre for a good reason, so she could get away from her abusive family. However, the problem is that Wilhelm is still there, using all he can from Sam. Along with little miss Amber. Yolie doesn't use Sam at all. In fact she argued with me about moving in with him,. but i had her do it anyway because her mom was geting out fo control and I don't want her getting hurt. But yeah, Amber and Wilhelm leach off of Sam like he's a dead corpse, and they are magets. It sickens me. Amber I am trying to work with in building strenght, but Wilhelm is too far deep into the satanic void that he would be impossible. I told yolie that if she ever felt that Wilhelm was draing her that she should take a step outside and just meditate. There are plenty of nice spots to sit down and meditate and concentrate her energy. I also told her to make sure she did not sleep in the same room as Wilhelm. Wilhelm seems to be getting worse however and starting to become demanding about the time he spends with my friends, he has almost become increasingly disturbing in his means of pushing people into being his firends. he now acts like he owns the damn place when it was Sam's place to begin with. I couldn't agree more with Sams' mom when she says that Wilhelm is using him. because I see exactly what she means. I 'm not his mother, but I am like a sister to him so it pisses me off to watch this crap that goes on. i try to visit as much as possible but my mom is starting to ask questions. I would love to tell her what is going on, but I don;t want her making issues of it. I am already pulled itno trying to figure out ways of locking wilhelm up between dimensions, and trying to help Amber see herself in a more positive light. i don't need my mom throwing guilt at my friends and getting into an issue that is really none of her business.
Rumors
I recently found out from a really good friend of mine that Aaron was never a tweeker. It turned out to be just some silly rumor that my brother spread out. I had also found out that he also ******** spread a rumor that I was a stoner. Which I'm not, granted I tried weed few times but I haven't for an entire year due to the fact that I have a job and wish to keep it for a while. But I was so relieved to find out that Aaron wasn't doing Crystal meth. I was disturbed that my heart kept longing for such a person, and yesterday I found out that he wasn't. I was thrilled. He was haunting my dreams in the midst of me trying to get him out of my mind, and I kept telling myself, " no no no I can't, he is not healthy enough for me, he does really bad drugs he will hurt me.' Then I find out that he really wasnt' doing meth and s**t, he just a stoner like he always was. I guess I can still except my feelings for him and not feel liek a total retard with low self esteem.
I also found out some really sad news about a former enemy that hated me for loving Aaron. I found out that her father was treating her bad and that she got sick from it. So that may explain why the two of them looked so sick. Siad former enemy sick from the stress her father put on her, and Aaron with stress that his friend, sister, love of his life was under. I know when it comes to my firends I do stress about what they go throuhg. I was stressed about Yolie and her mother. Why? Because I ******** care about her. She is my best firend. Even if I mean absolutly nothing to her, I will always ******** care about her. I am currently trying ot keep as much watch over as possible while she's around wilhelm and when I go over there wed. night I will be helping her in a sheild charm I learned in a book I'm reading. She is my freind and if she's in trouble I am in trouble with her. So when said former enemy was sick, Aaron was sick with her. Why? Becuase they were friends.
What sickens me is that people looked at them and assumed the worst about tghem and started a bunch of stupid rumors. Rumors which I believed for a time. Now I regret with all my heart that I believed them. How could I be so blind? A man that I claimed to love and I didn't even realize the suffereing he really endured. But then again, even I told myself that I did want to see Aaron again so I could come to my own conclusion. I took heed that the rumors were true, but I also bore in mind the fact that you can't always believe what others say unless they really have access to the information they are giving. Crystal, my bro and various others only saw them, they never actually talked to them. I wanted to see for myself just to make sure. I never wanted to belive that Aaron was a tweeker. And I feel so much better knowing that he was never liek that.
To be honest, I don't look at either Aaron or Former enemy as enemies anymore. Note I say former enemy. Those are two people I wish I could be firends with, but it will never happen due to some stupid things I did. For one, my subtle flirtations with Aaron were most innappropriate. And acting as creepy as I did didn't help either. I said a lot of stupid things and did a lot of stupid things, and then inthe end I tried to be like Former enemy. I no longer try to be like her, but I left such a bad impression that such a friendship is no longer possible. I will however adopt those two as firends in my heart, and I sware on Suzaku that if anyone comes between their friendship I will smite them with my red lightning. Even if I miraculously hooked up with Aaron, I would want him to continue his firendship with Former enemy. And If I miraculously became his mate, I would also invite those two into my family.
The only freindships I inted to destroy are wilhelms firendships with my friends, but because Suzaku, urd, Mario, and I all see the damage he is secretly doing while he plots to become a demonologist in 666 years. ( It's an inside thing.) Suzaku doesnt' allow for these false firendships to arise, andthe spirit that resides in those apartments that Sam lives at doesn't approve of Wilhelm in his terretory either. I am hoping and praying that Sam soon has the balls to get Wilhelm out of there. We will all breath easier once he is out of our lives. But Sadly, I must take a share of the blame.
I brought Wilhelm there. Only on the intention of making friends with someone who was new to Arizona. I thought he was cool but then I saw the ugly truth. Now I regret ever bringing him into my close circle of freinds and now we just can't seem to get him out. Me and Mario can only pray to Aura, Urd, and Suzaku.
|
