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I don't know how many times I've run into them. But now I have two of them to deal with. Both live with my friend Sam. One of them has been ******** with me for some time. I try so hard to break off the friendship with this one, but he just won't take no for an answer. The other one is Sam's fiance. She lives off of him like a parasite. Since they both live with him, he is constantly tired and sleeps all night and day. His mom is even worried. She has picked up on it as well. Tuesday I plan on talking to Sam about this problem. After that I want to talk to both of the culprits and get to the bottom of why they are so negative. If I can't get them to leave us alone, I might as well help them figure out why they have that effect on people. It's gonna be a very draining experience. I've already gotten one to realize what she is doing, but the other one is still in denile. He may have to go for good.

This is the same guy who has been trying to manipulate me into dating him. He denies that as well.

We tried the firends with benefits thing. Though I never had sex with him, I regret what was done, and I feel sick to my stomache at how i gave in and let him delve deeper into my persona. My aura is still full of cuts and bruises. Sometimes I wonder if it was truly my choice, or if I was just lured into it. To be perfectly honest, I don't think my hormones have ever gone that crazy before meeting him. I almost wonder if he tried to manupulate that as well. I am beginning to wonder becuase I feel so violated while at the same time I realize I did volunteerily give in. But I just can't shake the feeling that spiritually I was raped. It's something I can't quite put my finger on. I didn't say no but I feel like deep down I did. sometimes I wonder what came over me. Now that I have broken out of my trance like strait, i am looking at everything that was done. The caressing, the fingering, just the whole giving in to desires I normally seek to keep locked up, even though sex is constantly on my mind. It's like he would predict what would happen.

He would predict that I would be wanting it when we'd get back from bowling, or the next time I would see him. And it would happen. It was as if saying it manupulated my chemistry. It was strange. While he would be gone, I would be telling myself to not give in anymore, that the whole thing would have to stop. Then he would show up and as promised, as if it was on cue, my hormones would go absolutely nuts. Now I'm not gonna go claiming rape, but I do get sick thinking about the whole thing. I feel sick to my stomache everytime I remember everything that went on. I actually broke down crying and made it a point to start avoiding this person as much as possible.

I talked to a family member about the problem and How I realized he was a phsychic vampire. This family member is familiar with this subject, and he told me about the vampiric allure. From this I learned that even spiritual/phsychic vampires even have this allure. After talking to this person, It began to make sense as to why I gave in to something that normally i wouldn't have given in to. I realized that I was just as much of a victem as my freind Sam. Even my firend Sam has the same problem with his fiance.

He tells me how much he doesn't like her and how he wants to break up with her. He would go and try to break up with her, and fail everytime. She always wines and bitches and persuades him somehow to stay with her. It's this endless cycle of wanting to get away and being pulled in again. Sam and I are both fighting an unfair battle against a force we barely understand. But now I have grown to understant this force a little more. Not only do these vampires such out our energy, but they ******** with our minds. Now if we could understand the difference in our own minds between what we want, and what they are trying to make us do, then we can solve this problem and get rid of them for good.

now this is a problem that the police would laught their asses off at. That's why we are without help. May Aura be with us.

Now another thing about the vampire that is victemizing me is the annoying desire for him to try to prove himself to me.

When I tell him I don't want to be his firend and that he is only ******** my life over, he turns around with " Let me prove you otherwise."
Goddammit, that never works.

For one, he is once again using his allure to get to me.

Two, the more you try to prove yourself to someone, the more you screw up and continue to make a bad impression.

Lemme tell you a story about trying to prove yourself and trying to make yourself fit in and look cool.

almost all my freinds know the story about Aaron. Well, when I started out liking Aaron, I was more laid back and not trying to prove anything. He was nice to me. he would smile at me, even though his freind hated my guts.

She was gothic.

So what I did I do? I started trying to prove to Aaron that I was just like that friend. That I was just as kewl. i started dressing gothic too. The s**t from hottopic I relied heavily upon to create this effect. I did the eyeliner, the fishnets, and the sunglasses, the whole nine yards. he sees me and what happens? He and his firend call me a poser. A POSER!!! Why? Becuase I wasn't being myself. I was trying way too hard to be like his freind. It was wrong. It was stupid, and becuase of that, i will never be on firnedly terms with Aaron ever again. I havent' seen him in over a year, but I'm sure he will remember the idiot I made of myself trying to be like his firend. I love him so much and I wish something more could've happened between me and him, but the more i tried to prove that I wasn't a poser, the deeper I went into poserville. That's what happens when you try to prove something. you prove the very oppositte of the thing you want to prove.

now I know that if I had just continured to act natural and just had relaxed, things would have been different. Oh well, i have learned my lesson very well.

It's funny that this guy has not found out that little fact yet. What he fails to realize is that proving himself will only add salt to the wound.