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I just realized how increadibly lame I am. I feel like I can't confide into anyone eventhough I put on this friendly I love everyone kinda attitude, and there are friends I can trust, I just can't explain how I feel or whats on my mind.

I feel like my whole life is a lie, like I can never feel fulfilled. I don't know what would make my life whole, but whatever it is I don't have it.

Lately everything seems like Im obligated to do it. Something little, like taking out the trash, that I would never have a problem doing, seems like it takes a lot out of me to do. I dont conciously choose to do these things but its sad when I feel obligated to novel tasks.

I seldom find fun in anything anymore. I used to love doing anything. I can be flicking dirt around and feel sooo content but now I can't do anything without this emotionless kinda attitude. I could write about my problems and publish it into some emo novel but I think this is good for now.