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Warning! my journal entrys are sometimes very long & can have swar words in them so if you dont like that then dont read it but if you dont mind then i also sometimes put my drawings and poems here...so enjoy
hey
Hey these are my confeshions that i just need to get out,
Have you ever felt u were completly allone and that no one cares, even though u know for a fact that one person does(my bf mike).... i dont know whats wrong with me...i just feel like no one cares and that ive been left allone, my mom sold my home..
(i dont think shell ever understand me, i wont even try to tell her, shed just say its my own falt or yeah know she wont say anything at all because it all started with her).and i hate it, everytime i walk by my home and see other people in it i just start to cry ..
(so many memories....so much saddness and horrors in it)
...and then my sisters never here anymore,not even for me... so ive been taking care or her animals for her and her house,
she told me she dosent wanna be here because everytimes shes here the rest of our family wants something from her and ask something of her, she told me, shes with her bf all the time because she needs to ascape and i understand that. BUT ITS NOT FAIR, what about me, i need to get away, i cant stand being here .... no one in my famaly cares about me anymore, i swar theyve all forgotten, that i even exsist.not like they ever did, most of my famialy hates me and calls me worthless,stupid god i have a list a mile long, of the names..

i know ive typed this a million times, but i just feel so allone,lost and forgotten.
i cant even laugh for real anymore,i just fake it when inside im screaming for some one to knowtis...but s**t,,, maybe im just dreaming

i guess my friend mea called me a looser behind my back just because i go to an allternitive school... WELL U KNOW WHAT!! IM SRY, IM NOT PERFECT AND YOU KNOW WHAT I KNOW WHAT YOUR DOING..... (internal tenshion... let me tell u i could brake some ones face in with my fist right now)
ooooo grrr i need some one to talk to, ive completly lost who i am , i cant even remember how i usta be..im scared to do everything now, and i dont even know why im ******** scared..
the only thing i have that listans to me and is here for me and doesent i feel make fun of me or think im stupid for being sad is my dog....
i keep so many things to my self so many things i never tell anyone, I JUST NEED SOME ONE TO TALK TO some one to really listan DAMNIT
when i try to tell a friend they allways fall asleep.....
i need help, i need help.... some one help me before i just loose it, i cant stand to keep everything to my self like this ...anymore .... ( and really i dont know why im writing this because no one here can help me -.-)

ps. i forgot to write this but about 3 weeks ago i had a surgery, -sigh- i had a gall stone so they took out my gall bladder and yeah....thats it cya bye
KuroK






User Comments: [1] [add]
Aegis the Ancient
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Tue Mar 08, 2005 @ 05:18am
It's funny, but i used to feel like that, still do a little. Feeling useless, not needed, not cared about, not reconized, alone. Screaming inside, hiding it from everyone, because they wouldn't care anyway. It builds up more inside and hurts. It's a lonley hell.
You're not alone. You can talk to me, about anything. I would lisen, I would care. I dont think ill of you. I think of you as a good friend. A good person.


User Comments: [1] [add]
 
 
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