Posting last-minute in my journal that I'm gonna be gone for a period of time. Spending the weekend with my friend and her six-room condo. Wow! eek I'll bet it sounds better than it really is. I'll be back Sunday evening.
I need a good fight. I need someone to tick me off so terribly that for the first time in my life I loose it. All week I've been in a crappy mood, and the past coupla days I've been pretty angry for no reason at all. I even saw an opening for a good fight. We decided to confront Lauren today with these big problems she has with her attitude. Behind her back, people are always saying mean things about her. She's kinda bitchy, and people get the wrong idea and think she's a whore or a slut. stressed So we got together, and during a free moment at lunch we went out to the courtyard to tell her. She's good at getting pissed off and yelling, so the whole reason I was out there was just in case that happened. gonk So's I could get mad at someone with a reason. I said absolutely nothing, and thought everything. *ramble* We got to the part about how she always always put herself first, even when her friend is sitting right there crying her eyes out over a serious problem. Which happened yesterday. stare And she started getting all teary eyed and upset, and then the bell rang. I had to go to class. I couldn't go to mediation with her and get a good fight going. gonk
Selfish that I'd wreck a friend just for my own personal gain? Yes. I've done it before, I can do it again. She won't be a loss for me, at least this time she isn't my best, and possibly only, friend. Maybe if I feel up to it I can tell you the story on that. <.<-
As it turns out, Brie seriously needed me to be there, because I'm always calm. o.O The whole reason she didn't stand up and start screaming her head off at Lauren was because I wasn't getting worked up. I'm a really emotional person. Everything I say and do is affected by my mood. But I never show it. <.< In fact, I prolly give the false impression that I'm always happy. With that whole sit-and-stare-out-the-nearest-window and smile-when-talked-to attitude I wish I never developed.
I'm sorry, I'm pretty much babbling about things you don't care about. But it's all that's on my mind. gonk
 Leamony · Fri Feb 25, 2005 @ 04:47am · 7 Comments |
