the fruits of my labor have not yet given me what i desire. i'm holding on to this rollercoaster ride and i don't know when there may be an end in site. i feel ashamed of what i once was. but should i fear what i am now becoming. should i feel bad that i nolonger care. maybe this is just another step on my journey. maybe he needs to be this way in order to truly see. why did he say he would make the stupid choice. does he not understand that i believe in him. follow your heart and there is no such thing as a wrong choice.