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I don't want to move to Tx, but it seems like an enevatible event that is looming closer and closer like a comet in the night sky. You can make it out a brilliance of colors, even at this distance, reds and pinks and yellows, simple beauty. But as the year passes you see it face further as the Earth moves around the sun. Once the cycle is over and we are once again in this spot we see how much closer this is. Now we start to wonder:

"Will this happen?"



I starte to wonder if I am going to make the right choices. He says that "You should cherish the time that you have together and spend as much time as you can with your friends. If you do that and we do leave then they will at the least beable to look back and remember the good times that you've all had together and just be happy that you were once here."

To me that saounds more like death... which is something i porpetually beleive that will happen to a part of me if I leave.

I know that its silly to think about it now, but it is really hard not to. I look around each time I wake up and know I won't be in this place forever. I would rather be in a smaller town or in a differnt house around here but over all that is something that probrobally won't happen either. Torn between living in a world where I know the boundries I know the places and I know the people to a place where I'm a stranger who locks herself up tighter then Repunzel's tower, and with short hair. I jsut hope it doesn't come to a wreck that it all crashes and burns like my fears tell me it will. "A test of will power, a test or relationship, a test of you." Am I ready for that test?

Pondering what life would be like if i could leave here and live in a book.
Christina