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well...
ok. i just recently fixed my e-mail address, so my peeps, b/f, and i are all sending messages to eachother like crazy. it's great. at first i thought that my relationship was going to fall apart this summer, but i then i started to think differently after my boyfriend's party. but once again... i don't know. at the end of each e-mail my b/f and i always write, " i love you," or, " you mean the world to me," or something like that. now don't get me wrong like it, and i don't regret writing it, but... i just think. 'i love you' are such strong words. it is so much easier saying or weiting it that it is to actually feel it. i really, really love my boyfriend, i just sometimes think he doesn't feel about me as strongly as i feel about him. i don't think that people realize how much i really care about him. yeah my friends now i really like him, but thats it. they don't know that i actually love him. sometimes i feel like writing in this thing is the only way i can express myslef. i can't write in the journal i keep hidden in my room cause my sisters always seem to find it and then they show it to everyone they know. i can't really talk to my mom, and definetly not my dad. i could talk to my friends cause i trust them, but i'm afraid they'll laugh or won't help with my love problems if i talk about logan that passionatly cause i think they are a little jealous. we thought that it was going better than theirs', but i think we think that just because it is lasting longer. but to tell the truth, my friends were not as shy as i am around logan, they were a lot more intimate and open with their loved ones, and i'm just... not. i feel like i don't deserve this relationship. all my friends have lost something, and i have not lost anything. they deserve to be in a good relationship, i feel i deserve to have my heart broken at least once. but that's life. it's unfair. well i should go. i'm running out of room to type.
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Community Member