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for what does candy serve a purpose if i cannot taste it? my taste is bittering. my sences are diming. i can't see. i can't see you, or hear you, or feel you. you're slipping, slipping away. disappearing. drifting into space. floating away. and then POOF! you're gone. wiped from the face of the earth. as if you never exicted. i try harder and harder everyday to hold onto your memory. but everyday i forget more and more. i weep whenever i think of that horrible day. i'm drowning in my own emotion. i need help. please, send your spirit to guide me through these troubled times. i've become nothing. without your comforting hand and loving heart to lead me, i'm lost. running through a darkened eternity searching for the tiniest shread of sanity of hope. and guess what? i can't find it! i mean, come on! why? why did you have to go? you weren't that sick. if i was a little older i would have taken care of you. i just...... GARRRR!!! wahmbulance please, please come back. i need you. nana needs you. everyone needs you. hey, up there! god? you-who? in case you hadn't noticed, or in case you don't care, i'm crying... again! am i being punished for something horrible i did in a past life? if that's it, i'm truly sorry. i just want him back... please?

(ps. i really dislike hate the thing they call cancer.)