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Numb

I remember when I felt so numb
Nothing mattered,
Everything happened all over
Everyone was moving
But I was in bliss of numbness
Nothing bothered me
As I gracefully fell into cracks
That I never noticed was there...

Then I remember finally standing up,
Tired of letting it all happen
Trying to crawl out that hole...

Someone smiled, I remember
It was such a beauty
That cleared the crust
In my eyes
And the rust
That settled on my heart.

I began painting
The stars and skies
Trying to capture
That beautiful smile.
I thought,
'If I can capture it
Here... I can make it mine.'

So I painted every day
And painted every night...

I never realized...
Holding my brush so tight
That I would lose that smile...

It broke me down
It tore me inside
I felt the bitterness
And emptiness slowly fill me
As I choke on
The last raw emotions
I feel fresh tears
Running down my face,

I gasp, trying to
Say words
That I've said all the time...
But always meant so much..

I guess I should go back
And be

Numb