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My Embezzlement

Without hesitation she let me in the confides of her heart
She fought for me when my feet were too weak to stand
She made life seem like it was merely a journey and that we are
Only as strong as we allow ourselves to comprehend
She reawakened the wisdom, rekindled the dying fire
and laid to waste more than a million unsung fears
Her face I see as I fall on my back and retire
Her voice wakes me up with the chants and cheers

I dethroned that which I had enthroned
I turned my back on my every belief
and in turn I may have turned a heart to stone
But I hope I can bring a close to such grief

She was my silence in the blaring of the amplifier
she was the reason I scream to this world
about the problems that are faced undeserving
about those who are unfairly hurt
She compelled me to take a stand against vast denial
she made me feel alive and new
She made me feel like this battered life was more than worth while
because she shared the pain, but in a deeper hue

I denied the part of me that had the ability to say no
Betrayed and forsaken all that I am
Crushed another spirit with my royal act of ego
that made me this sorry excuse for man

I had a person that would give what no one could
I had half a heart to stitch to mine
If I could mend the fractures and cast it up I would
If only I could leave this pause in time
This guilt is overbearing, I seek only forgiveness
Even if I can never hold her again
At least I try and mend a bit of her distress
Instead of just letting scorn be the final thought when we reach the end

I rejected all that which kept my sentiment in orbit
thus it all spiraled into a gravitational pull
All my emotions collided and destroyed this
self-righteousness, self-pity of a fool

If I had only one more moment to say what needed to be said
I would look to her and stare right into her eyes
kiss her so very gently upon her brow and forehead
and say the things too powerful to be lies
That love is blind and leaves behind all the ignorant things we do
That it washes away the sins when finally let it have its way
That it only reveals itself to the very choice few
For you must be stronger to love than to hate

An eternity of apologizing to her would not re-manufacture these cracks
A vast never ending sea of regret is not suffering enough for what I deserve
This heart stands still as my consequences make their attacks
Its so disheartening, I'm three breaths away from losing my nerves

I welcome my repercussions, I just hope they don't remain forever
Please let her spare me just a single slice of grace
I know I was dishonest, because I feared the truth could burn
But Instead I was merely putting pain in those beautiful eyes
"Forgive me" I beg, "Retake Me,
I have met head on the err of my ways"
And if you highly doubt that this could be
I will prove to you with every moment of my weary days

To remount that position of comfort
To be that source of unfathomable endearment
So strong of a feeling that it would escort
The darkest of demons to their rightful imprisonment

Please understand my dearest, I live and breath to sing your name
If you were absent then all hope for me is lost
My passion, devotion, they will have all taken the same blame
thus my words will cause my heart to frost
I am lucky enough that I will eventually go numb
This pain I feel is not nearly enough for what I am entitled
I should live with this forever, but my mind can't take it
It merely bathes in the feelings I ruptured and embezzled

I embezzled ones soul, their spirit, their heart
I claimed it to be mine yet lost sight of its true purpose
I wish the sense of pitifulness not to rip me apart
I messed up huge, but I have faith that I can fix this