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I have a best friend... Her name is Leena. We know everything about each other.... Or, so I thought... She has this blog site she writes her feelings on. It really helps. Anywayz.... I thought I knew everything about her because she tells me everything and how she feels about whatever, and such.... But.....I guess, I was horrible at realizing how much she was actually going through... And, that utterly makes me sick --- Knowing she was my best friend in the whole world, that nothing could change that, and yet, I was missing out on a whole other side to her.... I read her blogs... When I did so, I feel like I didn't know a thing about her....Until now. Each one I read, I started understanding her better and better; The farther I read, the more I'd cry. I cried for two reasons: The feeling I got when I found out about how selfish I was being. And secondly, I cried over how much pain she was going through.... I could tell because of her literacy.... She wrote everything out so clearly---I could tell, word for word, how much agony she was in, and has been in. She suffers every day.....like everyone else....... I hate seeing it happen.... I want to take everyone's pain into myself, cry it out, then have everyone be happy, along with me.... I hate seeing people in pain, especially when I try to help, and they just shut me out, like nothing's wrong. When they sit there, cradling themselves, suffering from something major going on in their lives.... Leena.....is very special to me..... I love her like no other. Not a love to be given to a lover, but a love that only true fated siblings could share............... When I'm around her, it turns into the opposite of how I feel.... I'm always happy around her, so it's like she's taking my sadness away.... I wanna do the same thing unto her...... In fact, I want to do it to everyone. Pain is something way beyond terrible.... It's never wanted... Sometimes, people use it to see if they still have feeling....emotion... I still think it's wrong.... I can't believe how blinded I've been; She's always around me, except the time she's at school and at home... And, through all that time she was with me...I've, not meaning to, neglected to realize how she feels.... I manage to ask her, EVERY TIME, if she's okay when she looks down.... I just......wanna be there for her more.... Idk if I'm sounding like a mother, or not....but, I'd think more like a big sister caring for her lil sister.... While writing this, I continue to cry my heart out. My keyboard is hereby soaked from tears coming out of my eyes. My hands are trembling. My eyes are blurry, not just from crying, but from the burning it brings..... I can't handle the fact that I wasn't there for her like I always promised I'd be.... She says I'm a good friend, and she never lies, despite the many times I've gone overly hyper and poked the ******** out of her, annoying her beyond hell..... I believe her, too. I really do, but.... After realizing this... I don't write this Journal to feel sorry for myself, but to lay down how much of a jerk I've been. I'm sure many people feel like I do.... I'm sure there's more than enough out there, suffering, struggling through life as I sit here, on the computer.....typing this Journal Entry..... She was exceptionally right about one thing, especially.... Writing down how you feel does make you feel a great deal better.... Leena.... I thank you for being the greatest friend in the world to me and not leaving me, no matter how annoying I was, loud..... You never would leave anyone like that. For that, you are a great person... I hope to continue reading your blogs and being your best friend, so I can learn more about you, then I thought there ever was.... Like they always say: There's far more to a person, then the eye can see, no matter how long you've known them. I will continue to write about things, such as this.... I found this heartwarming, so I just had to let it flow from my mind, to my fingers.... and, here it is. If you have read this, thank you for taking the time to hear me out. I deeply appreciate it. If you ever need someone to hear you out...I'll be that person. i'll listen to whatever you have to say, no matter what it's about. I'll supply what advice I can. Thank you.

-Kaylee