Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I've Gathered all my poems up that i have in this journal, i thought it was interesting to watch them as they changed in subject and intensity.
If you feel like reading, go ahead.

My Storm
This storm that I live
The storm that is my life
I feel it weakining,
as if I was dying,
but how could I be dying?
I have found you,
but even as I found you I knew,
I was fading,
you reached me to late
you lost me now,
will I ever see you again?
will I ever see your light?
The winds of life are forcing me down,
drowning me in the sea
the see that never was, never will be,
and never should be,
it is the sea of the end,
where we lost each other
are you here?
I know your out here somewhere
are you lost?
did I leave you stranded in the End?
no! I won't lose you!
not again,
I will find you again
I swear it.
for you I will end this storm that I live.
if it gives you a clear road home
tell me now!
I need you now!
I need your light!
I will Find you!
I won;t leave you!
but i don't here you answer
was i to late?
I feel weak
my strenth has left me
still and cold
like a copse
as I watch my self in a mirror I realise
you saved me after all
I wish I could have saved you to.
BY: Sakuka

(I know it's kinda...blah...but still...I was half asleep!)

~Why can't I Feel You?~
-
-
I see you, but cannot feel you,
where are you, you left me so long ago,
I know i'm not supposed to feel this way,
as if i'll never find you again.
am I supposed to just forego,
all that we had so long ago,
the distance between us is growing,
even though your right behind me,
I hear you, but cannot feel you,
I'm not supposed to feel like,
you never really wanted me.
though all the thick and thin i alwase thought,
that I could sence you,
but now I know that it was only the wind,
wistling though the gap between us,
the ever growing, ever widningcanyon between us.
Why is it only me who feels this?
Why am I so diffrent than you?
Why?
BY:Sakuka
(no i do not have boyfriend issues)


shadows-
-
-they are behind you,
below you,
in front of you.
they are evreywhere if you just look,
some are normal,
some are not.
in the deepest blue shadow,
there lurkes an evil,
yet in the lightest shadow there lurkes doubt,
so can we say there are 'normal' shadows,
or are they all riddled with shadows greater than themselves?
are the shadows shadowed?
or are they shadows at all?
are they tainted shadows,
or are they 'normal'?
are the oceans pulling down this ship of hope?
by:Sakuka
-
-
-
-
-
You left me
-
-
you left me in this storm,
the storm that claimed my life,
you left me to die here,
the storm may have claimed my life,
but it didn't end it,
I survived,
I remember.
but now that you see me again,
you say you love me,
I know your lieing again,
you want me gone,
forever.
but you chase after me,
you hunt me,
you seek power over me,
I won't let you have it!
not again.
By: Sakuka
Twisted love
-
-
They are all wrong about you and me,
they say we are friends,
we know that we just act that way,
not for the image,
but for the lives of others,
because we know,
if we go at eachother,
we won't walk away.
they say we love each other.
we know that we don't
if anything we bitterly hate the act between us,
wanting to reach across the gap again,
to pull back the tide of time,
to love again.
They say things about us,
we know they are not true,
we know that the act we pulled,
was too close to the truth,
for it itself to be true.
are we then liars?
are we then haters?
or could we fix the mess that we started,
that I started...
By: Sakuka
-
-
-
well..that poem made me sad...don't really know why...is it too close to my past?...dunno...oh well.
~The empty phone call~
-
-
as I look out into the stormy sea,
something feels out of sync,
as if I had lost something.
what I didn't know I would find out in that phone call,
the one where there was no one there,
a silence that griped my heart,
as I asked if anyone was there,
I heard him scream in pain,
I heard him shout,
I heard him beg,
at me,
what did I do?
and suddenly I knew.
it wasn't me he was talking to.
~Sakuka~
-
The wind whistles though the branches when I walk
into the land,
that I have made
the land full of dark secrets,
that I have seen.
the wind whistles though the empty battlements,
when I run,
terrified at what i have witnessed,
it haunts me.
the wind whistles though the empty corridors of memory,
when I scream,
at what I know.
what i've done.
who I am.
~by: Sakuka~

I once loved
I once hate
Now it's hard to tell the diffrence,
between what i had and what i have.
what is here and what was.
why are thay blured?
-sakuka-


" Punnishment of a sinning Alchemist"


As darkness turns to light,
no one knows what i've become,
inside.
no one knows, because it's a secret.
a secret from you,
and a secret from me,
don't let me know.

as darkness turns to light,
i'm changing.
the elements are punishing me,
for what i have done.
forgive me lease!
I don't know what to do!
this is a punnishment for my crimes,
but these wounds arn't healing,
they are tearing open at the sight,
i'm sorry for what I did.
help me!
-sakuka


this would make a lot more sence if you watched Full metal alchemist. which I do recomend. Ed is rembering his past and his mother and how it's his fault that Al dosn't have a body. he is remembering that the memory of what he did is his punnishment. that human transmutetation ...well you get thepoint...and if you don't...start watching FMA!. and yess I did use a phrase out of a song...'As Darkness turns to Light' I did not make up that part!!! the rest is orignal! ^.^

these shadows are torturing me,
the unknown ,
eroding my Foundation,
the shadows are flitting about me,
teasing my eyesight
I feel salvation just out of my reach,
my fingertips brushing it,
and yet again as I grow closer to freedom,
the unknown sends a blow my way,
and knocks me off of my path of straw.
I'm tumbling though my shields,
that of which I do not know,
propelling me along the path I shouldn't go,
I turn and sense freedom from my dark path,
I reach out, and the darkness blows me away again.
And so I tumble in the velvety darkness,
and light flitting in and out of my eyesight,
torturing me like an oasis is to a man dying of thirst.
trying to lure me to it,
to save me.
not knowing it's killing me in it's own way.
-Sakuka

mirror


I see a glimmer,
a fancyfull shimmer.
I go and see,
not sure what I'll find.
And there is a window,
I see a sranger walk up.
I see her stop and stare.
I'm wondering who this fool is.
And wonder why she's sraring,
this idiot halfwit.
I stare andnotice the brusis and scares,
I notice the pain in her eyes.
and I relise it's not a window.
It's a mirror.
I'm looking at myself
-sakuka

~
Pain,
why is that all i feel?
Is it because i lied?
That single time?
they told me...
and i believed them.
You really didn't leave me,
but they said so.

They said you hated me,
and i played along like a pupet.
and so i stand here,
staring down from this canyon wall.
willing to jump,
but your still back there...
on the dusty trail,
wondering what happened.
but i can't tell you...
can I?
~Sakuka
-
I stare at the world,
distanced from reality,
my subconciouse wraping me in it's velvet embrase,
draging me down.
back ito oblivion,
and away from you once again.
i'm sory to do this to you,
but i can't stop it,
it's an unstoppable force,
shaking me like a rag doll,
forcing me into submission,
beating me with horror.
Stabing me with fear.
my legs collapse,
tears roll down my face.
this aching cold inside of me. your my warmth,
my guiding light,
but i'm weak,
i can't continue,
the darkness has a hold on me that i dont' know how to break.
it's pulling me down,
even as you hold me gently.
- Sakuka
1/15/09

Three words locked me to you,
three words shoved me away,
am i your toy?
that you should yank me around with my emotions?
breaking my heart and then putting it back together?
your words are the glue,
and the hammer.
you smash and repair,
i can't recognise myself anymore,
so many cracks and missing peices block my veiw,
your breaking me...
your all thats keeping me together.
-
Thawed
She used to huddle,
lonly and alone,
lost in the darkness,
cold and frozen.
now she laughs,
now she smiles.
Her guiding light has found her,
and warmed her frozen hands.
lead her to safety,
and into warmth and happyness.
-
Her eternal winter has ended.
no longer shall she howl into the nights,
her cry filled with pain and sorow.
her eyes hold life,
true life,
Love.
-
Her chains of frozen tears has thawed,
never shall she forget this happyness,
that now thrives withen her.
She shall never forget this warmth,
and she shall never forget the one who saved her from herself.
-
A wailing keening,
so used to negative emotions,
it's no wonder why she's retreated into herself,
trying despratly to find her foundation again.
lost in this strange world,
but not wanting anyone to know how unstable she is,
a simple push would send her crumbling back into painfilled darkness...

-
She should have known better,
should have known not to open up,
not to care.
Should have known fire would burn.
melt her icy armor and scorch her soul.
-
once she had been lifted up,
held close,
her frozen body thawing as she looked up at her savior,
her flame souled hero.
-
Now she watches the ice form above her,
skin warmed by his gaze freezing over once agin,
shreiking in the agony of her burns,
she drowns in the numbing cold.
cold that once saved her,
crushing her in revenge of her absence.
making sure she would never leave her icy prison again,
wounds in her flesh bleeding their bright red pigment onto the pristine ice.

and yet she still see's him,
her flaming hero,
backing away from her,
ignoring her agonised eyes,
not seeing them glaze as they ask why.

-
She pushes the memories away,
the memories of light and happiness that only serves to drown her,
drown her in the Dank waters of her present,
without love she she suffers,
aching with it's loss as she slowly slips away.
-
when we let go
we stop trying to live.
when we hold on,
we live to much.
life is a lie,
nothing's ever perfect.
no one is ever happy.
life will alwase be better yesterday,
and tomarrow will alwase look dark.
Your present changes,
switching in between past and present.

-
.... uhm... yea...
-
She was patched with all the wrong peices,
broken beyon repair,
no one to turn to as her tears fell un noticed in the crowd.
untill she fell.
fell into your arms,
fell into her past,
and fell into her future.
now you suround her,
and her peices fit once more,
they fit all along,
they were just waiting for you.