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It's My Birthday!!
whee AAAAAAAGH!!!!
Yeah...I'm pretty stoked.
I'm kinda mad at Gaia, though.
I mean, they always send me private messages telling me that one of my friends' birthdays is coming up...and they tell me that I should probably get them a gift.
But....Gaia doesn't give people gifts....
HoW rUdE!
But! I am happy because I get gifts in real life!
I don't know what all Jazz got me, but I'll soon find out.
I'm getting a new guitar from Dad.
I'm pretty pissed at him though (I'll explain why later)
I'm supposed to be getting my 16th b-day gifts from my sisters this year...but I don't know if they really did send it.
I'm getting two surprises from Brandon, one of which isn't ready...
And I got $120 dollars from my grandparents.
Pretty sweet.
And last night they treated me to birthday dinner, where I got some absolutely delicious Chicken Fettucine.
I'm eating the leftovers for lunch.
And I got a big chocolate cake which I'll need help eating.
But Dad doesn't like chocolate cake that much.
I'm mad at him though because he pretty much spoiled my night after that.
Don't get me wrong, I hate arguing with Dad...but if I don't stand up for myself he'll only pick on me more.
Anyway though, we came home and put the food away and then both went to go relax.
I started reading, Dad went on his computer.
All was well.
Randomly, Dad comes up to my doorway and just stands there playing with Asta and not really doing anything that concerned me, except bothering me by distracting me from my book.
Then...and it all happened so fast, I don't even know how it started, Dad starts talking to me about school, how it'll be my number one priority.
Dude...he says that as though he hadn't been saying it practically all summer.
He says it as though I've forgotten. (Then again, I don't know if Dad knows about how good my memory is....)
Anyway I told him I knew....I have no intention of letting my grades slip.
Then he starts talking about Aquatics...and he's half yelling that I didn't give that class my best.
For a moment I'm stunned because I don't know where that came from, but for a whole minute we're just firing back and forth and back and forth about "Yes I did", "No, you didn't, "Yes I did", "No, you didn't"
It was ridiculous!
But then Dad reminds me that I only completed 21 laps out of 30, and thusly was getting preferential treatment.
Dad just...doesn't know me at all.
I'm weak! I have flimsy little arms that prevent me from being a top-of-the-class swimmer!
I DID DO MY BEST!!
21 laps was all I could get done before class ended.
Mr. Williams told me that if I just kept swimming nonstop, he would not take away any points from my final.
It's not preferential treatment, it's being understanding that I'm not as good a swimmer as everyone else, but that I gave it my all and did what I could.
Dad wasn't satisfied though.
Then he starts talking about how I'm one of the laziest people he knows.
I'm hurt for a little bit, but then quickly dismiss it because he's right.
I'm super lazy.
But! Then he starts getting on my case about how he doesn't like the fact that none of his 3 daughters likes to exercise.
What, am I supposed to apologize for not liking the burn of working my muscles in certain ways?
NO!
But I tell him at least I'm not fat as it is.
He says that's only by chance, by pure luck.
Once again, I'm hurt, but dismiss it again as that is also true.
I don't know why Dad felt the need to do that...especially last night.
But I ended up thinking about his words again before bed and crying myself to sleep.
I feel fat now...I don't want to eat breakfast, I don't want to take even a sliver of my cake...
I don't know how to make Dad happy.
There's just no pleasing him if I'm not like him...at least it feels that way.
Here's what Dad likes about me:
1. I'm a goth
2. I don't have an attitude problem
3. My taste in music, because I like what he likes
4. I'm not a fat kid (sure we argued about it, but I know he likes the fact that I'm not. Gawd, you should have heard what he said at Walmart the other day...)
5. I'm intelligent
If there's anything else, I either don't know what it is, or have forgotten it at the moment, but that's pretty much it.
When it comes to the way I think and how I do things...Dad always asks me "Why?"
Why do I think like this? What the hell kind of question is that?!
How do I answer something like that?!
I can't think like you, or anyone else! Stupid!
It's idiotic....
Anyway, I'm going to go back to bed for an hour.
As long as Dad doesn't ruin my day...everything will be fine.
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