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Ah, the memory makes me laugh now, though at the time I was so annoyed.
The moment I announced that I would be taking suitors in much more earnest, I was swamped with suitors of every level.
Though at first, all I seemed to see were incredibly low people of the court, almost peasants, even. I could tell immediately that they simply wanted the power and probably barely even knew my name, though I was the most known personage in the kingdom.
However, I'd never gotten so much attention before. I had to admit, I was...flattered. But I kept a practical head, even when a much more credible suitor came my way.
I ended up coming dangerously close to losing my head here, letting myself be swayed by pretty, empty words. Maybe it's true that women's emotions are easily manipulated, and that's why I must control them. I came out the victor in this situation and thought I had learned a lesson. But I never did. That's why I'm in this mess now.
But that's a later story.
Lord Michael was a relatively powerful noble, with a terrible reputation as a player. He courted and jilted a new girl every week, leaving broken hearts everywhere. I had never spoken with him face-to-face, but I had heard that, despite his nonimpressive looks, he was incredibly charming.
I heard this and prepared to defend myself against Lord Michael. I tensed one day at court the moment I saw his eyes meet mine...but by the time he spoke his first sentence I would have dropped my defenses, making myself almost completely, foolishly vulnerable.
His face lit up as he approached me, as if overjoyed to see me. I immediately felt uneasy. It was simple to tell with the previous suitors that they cared only for the power...they never made any pretense of having any attraction to me myself. But he seemed different...
"Your Majesty," he breathed in an admiring voice, bowing and smiling back up at me. "I feel as if I have just witnessed the most gorgeous sunrise ever to grace our earth."
If I was moved inwardly, I did not show it. I was determined to show no feeling. "Well," I scoffed lightly, "I don't see why you should say that."
"Oh, how could you?" he smiled. "You are the only one who cannot see your beauty, but through a distorting mirror."
I did not know what to say to this. I was the Queen of Duremia, but for some reason I was acting like a peasant girl. I had to steel myself. I would not be swayed by elegant words.
Nevertheless, I couldn't outright reject him. He wasn't even execptionally handsome; but he had almost the aura and appearance of an adoring child, with with his chocolaty brown hair and warm brown eyes. I felt a tenderness for him--but nothing akin to love or even desire.
He drew closer to me, but did not touch me--no one but a legal husband and the closest ladies-in-waiting could touch the sacred royal personage of the Queen. He whispered, "All this time I have admired you from afar, but could nto approach you. Now I have worked up my courage, and find that you are more beautiful than I have ever imagined."
I took in my breath, trying to keep my feelings in check. But he saw my hesitation and smiled again, kindly. Then he bowed and took leave of me.
I looked after him, with no plans whatsoever to accept him. He was not a good candidate and would destroy me. But how on earth was I supposed to keep him away from me? Especially when half my feelings were riled up by his flattery?
[b:a640e1acd8] heart Love, Ali! Or is it...never mind.[/color:a640e1acd8]
[img:a640e1acd8]http://i105.photobucket.com/albums/m205/ObsessiveSquareEnixFan/Art/ladycopy-1.png[/img:a640e1acd8]
[[I want to feel it once more, that vivid music, interweaved with hope amid the darkness.]][/color:a640e1acd8][/b:a640e1acd8]
 LadyAlisyn · Fri May 22, 2009 @ 03:12pm · 1 Comments |
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