I am feeling more and more depressed daily. I am not sure why, since, I thought all my issues were resolved. Though it feels terrible, and I want to break down and sob. Though, I do not want that kind of attention. People fawning over me, asking if I am alright. The awkward silence that follows when no one knows what to say. I do not want it, so I am hiding it all......
I feel like I keep messing up. I want to make my friends happy, as well as my boyfriend...and I want this so much I am not even sure what I want. The more I think about it, the more I am saddened.
Everytime someone is upset, mainly my boyfriend, I am taking it PERSONALLY. I go out of my way to be nice. I try so hard to make people happy... and even if I am not the reason they are unhappy I feel horrid. For example, just now my boyfriend did not want what I had been cooking for dinner. He had a bit of...anger behind his voice that I am almost positive he did not know was there. But...I feel like sobbing.
I just...want to know that I am loved. That someone cares about me and how I feel. So I post an internet blog. Lovely, right?
Doubtful anyone will get this, but if so....sorry?
 -part time ninja- · Fri Mar 06, 2009 @ 01:09am · 1 Comments |
