The Professionals are those classmates you see every year, snoozing or doodling in the back, clearly not paying attention to the teacher and at the beginning of every new school year, you wonder yet again, “How on Earth did they pass when all I saw was the back of their head or a cap pulled low over their face?!” Is it a fluke or is there some type of skullduggery going on? The possibility of cheating crosses your mind but how did they get away with it all year? By spending all the time that should have been spent on school work, on perfecting their art and ensuring a passing grade. They devise elaborate methods that can involve hand codes, mirrors, listening devices, hidden cameras, you name it, they have probably tried it. Usually accompanied by a lackey or two, always in the same classes, the same period, the two work together to ensure that during a test, every angle is covered and no answers or test papers escape unpeeked.
The Perfectionist is the genius of the class, always with the highest grade, the over achiever, and unbeknownst to the rest of the class, not very confident in their abilities. Fourth period, AP US History, midterm exam. Our Perfectionist has finished in record time, the whole class still slaving away at the exam. While triple checking his answers, a sweat breaks out over his forehead. Was it John Adams or John Quincy Adams? This test could make or break him. Anything less than a hundred might defer admissions from Harvard. The right answer is B, right, he asks himself, slightly hysterical. RIGHT?! He raises his hand, asking for a bath room pass and gets up to take the pass from the teacher. On the way up the aisle, his feet get tangled and he takes a head long fall straight onto a startled student’s desk. The test paper is lying right there, uncovered, answers showing, and he takes a quick peek. Satisfied knowing that they have the same answer but bruised from his “accidental” fall, he hurries on his way to the bathroom, almost skipping with joy.
The Classics always have pockets stuffed with papers, tissues, gum wrappers, anything he could possibly scribble some notes. Everyone knows he cheats, it so obvious. He studies, but never enough to attain a passing grade. So he relies on his ever present supply of writing materials to pass. In the few minutes before the test, when everyone else is studying frantically, harried by the possibility of failing, the Classic is calmly scribbling away at anything within his reach that he can write on and stash away from later use. This includes his arms, concealed by a convenient jacket, even though it is 90o outside, note cards folded and stuffed into crevices on the underside of the desk, using the gum to camouflage the paper and finally small scraps of paper stuffed into his mechanical pencil. The test begins and the Classic is ready for any problem that comes his way.
And finally we have the “OMG! I should know this!” folks. Everyone has been this person at one point or another. We have all stared at the test page, knowing we read that last night, page 256, second paragraph from the bottom on the left column, but just not being able to recall the pertinent information. Some of us breakdown, desperation clouding our mind, and those are the ones who turn into the “OMG! I should know this!” folks. Rubber necking is their modus operandi. Glancing around to find the nearest, open test paper, they crane their necks, trying to be subtle and surreptitious, trying not to attract the attention of the teacher but still gleaning the needed information. However, with the eyes of a hawk, the teacher swoops down and snatches their nearly completed test and rips it to shreds worthy of a paper shredder. With a big fat zero, they end up failing any way, whether by not cheating or by getting caught cheating.
Through victory and defeat, cheaters die or graduate or get expelled and a new batch spawn from the newest class. Like rats, multiplying at astounding rates and just as sneaky, cheaters will always be the plague of any teachers. As long there schools and tests, there will be cheaters.
A little something I wrote for my AP Lang class. Hope you like it! heart
