She says she hasn't cut in 3 weeks, which I know is complete bull.
It sickens me, the way she says it. So proud and smug.
She thinks she's being cunning. Telling me lies to try and pacify me.
She's scaring me. She keeps asking about quickest, least painful ways to die. And not just me! All our friends. They're getting scared too, I can see it in their eyes. They don't want to say it aloud, then they'd have to admit there was a problem and they'd have to deal with it.
I envy them. I had the choice of remaining ignorant taken away from me.
I'd say I wish things could go back to the way they were, but there have never been good and simple times with us. I wonder what we would have been like if we had never become friends? Would she be better or worse off? It's hard to say. Though I was one of her original bullies I was also the one to eventually stand up for her.
It could have gone two ways: 1.) She never really got to know those who bullied her and lived a happier school life, or
2.) She got to know them anyway and it was worse because I was never there to stop them.
It's pointless thinking such thoughts.
I have to find a way to help her. Thats what I should be thinking about.
 Requiem Of A Broken Soul · Tue Nov 04, 2008 @ 10:21pm · 0 Comments |
