We get a 15 minute break from 11:15 - 11:30.
She spent the whole time searching her school bag.
And because she refused to tell anyone what she was searching for, I knew it was the razors and knives she carries with her at all times.
Since there was onlt 30 seconds of break left, I let her go.
She wouldn't risk being late for class and I didn't think there was time.
I was wrong.
She had cuts all over her hand.
Her hand for Gods sake!! Could she be anymore obvious!?
And where did she get the time? She was already in the classroom with the teacher when I got there!!
Then at lunch I was upset with her and my friend, Jane*, noticed.
She asked if I was ok and we walked out of the room.
But Georgia* noticed and followed.
I told Jane I was fine and as soon as I did Georgia came up behind me and hissed "You keep your ******** gob shut!"
And all the darkness, the ugly rage I'd been surpressing for 3 years, for her sake, erupted in me once more and I couldn't restrain myself.
I pushed her down the stairs and shouted "I didn't tell her so stay the ******** away from me!"
I just couldn't hold it in!
First she cuts herself more times than I've ever seen before then doesn't even trust me enough to keep the secret that I'd rather pretend didn't exist, ignorant as that may seem.
Luckily we were already only 6-7 steps from the bottom of the stairs so she was able to jump and regain her balance.
Unfortunately, my other friend, Jessica*, saw all this, though, not what Georgia siad to make me push her.
I know Jessie and could see what it would look like to her instantely.
She would think that Georgia's been acting wierd lately because i'm bullying her.
When I got back to the classroom Jessie was already there and, judging by the condemning looks on their faces, had already told her version of events.
I nearly cried.
Having a friend who cuts is bad enough, but the rest of your friends thinking your a bully too!?
They all acted weird around me for the rest of the day adn I didn't speak to Georgia again.
Now I have a choice.
1.)Tell my friends why I did it, lose Georgia and possibly them for not telling them sooner.
2.)Don't tell them, risk losing them and Georgia too.
It's a lose-lose situation, and I don't know which side I'd rather be on.
* To all those reading this and have not yet figured it out, this is not a cliched work of fiction, this is real.
This is my life, and to protect the identities of all those involved I have changed some details such as my friends names. All other events are true.
 Requiem Of A Broken Soul · Tue Oct 21, 2008 @ 08:52pm · 0 Comments |
