Recently, as many of my friends have undoubtedly noticed, I have been happier than normal. The revelation I came to can sort of attest to the inner peace that I feel now. In no way have I attained perfection or solved some great cosmic mystery, I've just... changed my perspective. I'm going to share with you this revelation. Perhaps it will be of some use to some of my friends who I know hurt on the inside.
I found that people are born with a hole in their hearts. (Cliche to the max i know) This hole is what many people end up fighting with their entire lives, never being able to find inner peace. It is because of this inner unrest that people so often don't look outwardly. Too focused on their loathing of the hole in them to see the self that matters. Not the self that you see inside, but the self that is projected OUTWARDLY.
Allow me to explain.
In me there are many selves. The self that I see when I look inwardly, and those infinite selves that I project onto others. Nina sees one me, Ichigo sees another, my father and mother see a different me as well. The point is that: EACH and EVERY one of them ARE THE REAL ME. There is no singular myself, my existence is in the projection i leave on others. One's existence isn't defined by what they think, what they feel or what they experience. It is by the outward expression of oneself.
Thus the point...
Every one of those my selves is correct, it is true. So instead of looking inwardly, I look outwardly. I try to see myself, not through me but through others. I try to see me as I project myself onto Nina, Ichigo, Mother, Father, Jason, James. who am I to them? How can I better myself through the lens of their perception? Isn't that better than trying to confront a hole that the inward me sees? Because in essence, the inward myself doesn't matter at all! It doesn't contribute to what makes Mokuzai Akarshi, Mokuzai Akarshi! It is my outward actions that write who i am.
I think the same principal applies to each and every one of you who read this and take it for what it is. I've known this to be true for a while now, but couldn't explain in words until i watched the end of Evangelion. (Thanks Ichigo!)
anywho, i hope that helped.
 mokuzai · Tue Oct 28, 2008 @ 02:27am · 1 Comments |
