These are pretty funny!
> **********************************************************************
> **********
> *****************************************************************
>
> Customer: 'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get
> through; can you help?'
> Operator: 'Where did you get that number, sir?'
> Customer: 'It's on the door of your business.'
> Operator: 'Sir, those are the hours that we are open.'
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Samsung Electronics
> Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
> Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'
> Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly
> states that I need to unplug the fax machine
> from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before
> cleaning. Now, can you give me the
> number for Jack?'
> Operator: 'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'
> --------------------------------------
> -------------------------------- RAC Motoring Services
> Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I
> am traveling in Australia ?'
> Operator: 'Does the product name give you a clue?'
> -----------------------------------------------------
> ----------------- Caller (inquiring about legal requirements while
> traveling in Europe) 'If I register my car in France, and then take it
> to England, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side
> of the car?'
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Directory Inquiries
> Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please'
> Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the
> spelling is correct?'
> Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but
> the 'B' fell off.'
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
> Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
> Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven
> in Scotland .'
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone
> box told a worried directory assistance operator: 'I haven't got a
> pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.'
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'
> Customer: 'OK.'
> Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'
> Customer: 'No.'
> Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
> Customer: 'No.'
> Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up
> until this point?'
> Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Tech Support: 'OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen,
> can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
> Customer: 'Wow! How can you see my screen from there?'
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized
> that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I
> get my file back again?'
> -------------------- ---------- -----
> -----------------------------------
> This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think
> this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story
> from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording
> monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help
> Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'
>
> Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
> (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
>
> Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
> Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
> Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
> Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a
> sudden the words went away.'
> Operator: 'Went away?'
> Caller: 'They disappeared'
> Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
> Caller: 'Nothing.'
> Operator: 'Nothing??'
> Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
> Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'
> Caller: 'How do I tell?'
> Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'
> Caller : 'What's a sea-prompt?'
> Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
> Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't
> accept anything I type.'
> Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
> Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
> Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks
> like a TV. Does it have a little
> light that tells you when it's on?'
> Caller: 'I don't know.'
> Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and
> find where the power cord goes into it.
> Can you see that??'
> Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
> Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if
> it's plugged into the wall.
> Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
> Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice
> that there were two cables plugged
> into the back of it, not just one? '
> Caller: 'No.'
> Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there
> again and find the other cable.'
> Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
> Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged
> securely into the back of your computer.'
> Caller: 'I can't reach.'
> Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'
> Caller: 'No.'
> Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and
> lean way over?'
> Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right
> angle -- it's because it's dark.'
> Operator: 'Dark?'
> Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only
> light I have is coming in from the window.'
> Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
> Caller: 'I can't.'
> Operator: 'No? Why not?'
> Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
> Operator: 'A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've
> got it licked now. Do you still have
> the boxes and manuals and packing stuff
> that the computer came in?'
> Caller: Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
> Operator: Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and
> pack it up just like it was when you got it.
> Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
> Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
> Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.
> Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'
> Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!'
>
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