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 T___________T
Sucks to be Leamony. I have over 100 items in my house right now, and I can't fit any more. D: So I won't be able to fill up my house, even if I wanted to.
Think I can drop out of this Acheive program thing I'm in? :"D I'd love to~ Maybe I could spend that period accomplishing something. I thought it was going to be like a study hall, but you get extra help and you can talk to the people around you to get help and stuff. Y'know, work things out with a friend. "I don't understand, but you do, and you know how to talk to me. Help please. 8D" Sort of thing. And I'm really only friends with two people in the class. The teacher always chooses the groups, so there's little chance I'll end up with a friend. Everyone else in the class would avoid me or my friends if they could, we stick out like a sore thumb in our black and chains. And I just wouldn't be able to hold a conversation with them, our interests differ far too much.
... Anyhow, this class is supposed to teach me good study habits, provide help when I need it, and help me to set bigger, more fulfilling goals for myself. So far, we've made life maps, been told that everything we're doing is wrong, been told that we should become Eagle Scouts (98% of the class are girls. >_> wink , changed seats, and are currently working to make posters. Everyonce in a while we do this 'Tutorial' thing where we're divided up into study groups and then graded based on how well we keep track of things in our planners. I purposefully don't keep track of my weekends or afterschool activities in there because I don't like people snooping in on my personal life. But I got marked down for leaving those spaces blank. =T *hiss*
But that's not why I'm making a journal entry. xD
For years I've wondered, actually, about whether my life is one big hoax of some sort. O_o Is everything around me fake? Is everyone I meet an actor of some sort? Is my life staged, and everyone in the world is tuning in to watch? Everytime I lose something, was it stolen just to create a bit of drama? Are my friends really friends with me, or are they just there to keep my life normal? Is everyone only pretending to live their lives, are these people online really people on the other end, am I really just as popular as some movie star?
So that would make me a star of some sort, right? But nothing I know would be true. The stuff I read about in History books--All just made up. Or was it? Is there really stuff out there that is as true and right as it should be, and not just staged to mess with me? Could I really be the center of attention, does everyone know my name, but everyone is just pretending in order to make a good TV show? Maybe this town I live in is some sort of big set, where the weather can be controlled, where the traffic is choreographed.
But the problem is, I'll never know. gonk If I ask someone, they'll just tell me I'm being paranoid, or that it can't possibly true. They either have to tell me that I'm wrong, or I really am wrong. I'll never know if my life was a hoax.
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Oh, and I just cut my fingernails. I feel like I just clipped off a whole joint of my fingers, they're so short now. D: But I have paino lessons tomorrow, and she won't tolerate long fingernails.
I scanned in my hands earlier to prove to you my fingernail length. 8D
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v162/Leamony/Fingernails.png
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v162/Leamony/Fingernails2.png
Now they're maybe 1 mm. They were at least 1 cm. :C
 Leamony · Wed Sep 21, 2005 @ 03:49am · 0 Comments |
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