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Well....Today I want to be a missing person....I wish I was a missing person....They have all the luck...I mean with the dissappearing act and s**t.....Derrick in all his mighty "OMG IM SUCH AN a*****e" made me want to ******** die at work. So thanks a ******** lot Derrick. You are such a ******** a*****e at times. But seriously back to the ******** point! Im writing this because I need to VENT like no other. I cant ******** take this "relationship" at times I mean the disappointment alone kills me every ******** day, the things he says just cut deeper. Somedays I wonder how its lasted this ******** long. Or how much longer I can take this....Grad was fun but I mean....Goddess I don't even know what I mean.....Like I did have fun but it could have been so much better...Along with alot of other things.....Disappointing much? I just wish he never ever told me he was "comming" up here.....Or anything.....If you dont know then theres no chance at being disappointed...Am I right? I mean.....Grad was such a disappointment in that sense cause I mean....I dunno....Maybe things would have been different between us.....Maybe it wouldn't hurt so much.....Maybe he'd actually realize that Im not going to sit here and wait forever for him to show up.....Then again....I doubt anything would have changed....

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