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When it comes to writing journals, im reeaaaalllly lazy! Kinda sad when I look at it. But anyway,this journal is just about my thoughts. Life is complicated right now. Im sitting here, wondering when I should write My english essay, my story, start training, and start practicing my viola . The pressure has just gotten a notch higher. I finally made the top orchestra at my school, But I really need to practice. tryouts are coming up, and my viola is collecting dust. This is probably because I've decided to start playing piano again. =_=.....why did I start again????? oh yeah, I was on youtube, and I saw my first piano battle, and I thought to myself, thats really cool. And here I am. But, Im not as worried about my music tryouts , but my soccer tryouts. On August 13-august 16, tryouts commence. 4 hours each day....0_0, and im extremely nervous. I made the freshmen B team, didn't make the sophmore team( i was cheated on that), but I did make the JV team. Now , its time for the varsity team, and more than 50 people are trying out for only 24 spots.........Im dead. I've been playing soccer for years, and I have fallen in love with it. There are players on my team, that were real jackasses last year, and they smoke, and drink, and take drugs. And here i am, struggling to get onto the team. Im always first to practice, I'm disciplined, I don't make fun of the weaker players, I don't drink, or take drugs. If fate really conspires to help people, why is it unfair at times.theirs only 2 days of camp left, and then a week break before tryouts. The European coaches that came over, have taken a liking to me. They were talking to me while a demo game was going on ^_^, maybe they think im good. But that doesn;t matter, its jp to coach johns to decide. Today's camp was like hell, with the temp. it was soooo hot, my shirt was drenched with sweat, and we had to play skins. Plus, my soccer ball landed in the lake behind my school, so im sad......My dad who supported me in this sport, gave up on me last year. He thought i wouldn't make the JV team, but I DID! That is definitely one of my happiest moments! Im so stressed about soccer, Im not worried or even thinking about school work, or girls. Im reallly shy when it comes to girls........its embarrasing sadly. So yeah, Im basically stressed right now, but I try to put on a smile, and enjoy life, knowing that this will all pass. soon hopefully. And im not a baka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ben dan.
Right now, I am reading Eyeshield 21 on one manga. Its about this small kid that is shy and weak, but he starts playing american football, And he proves himself on the field. Even SlamDunk has a similar story line. I wish my life was like an anime. I'm going to try and meditate now, but after taking a shower!!!! I really stink!!!! im smell like my dad. lol. oh, and my female cocker spaniel, Lulu, is pregnant yet again. Expecting puppies on august 8th. We have 4 cocker spaniels right now, the father, the mother, and two puppies (the other 6 we had to sell crying ) selling the puppies is hard and sad..........But It makes me happy about a new life coming out in our house, and the happy faces of the people when they get apuppy! Life is about these little moments of happiness and sorrow. I'm going now, my hand is cramping, and my legs hurt, and I stink,....so ZHAI JIAN!