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I haven't made an entry in a while, so I gotta catch up, I've been distracted with stuff. The past few days have been good, but I've been spaced because I've beent rying to sort things out in my mind. I'm so happy now though, because everything is where I want it to be, well not yet at least. Me and Brendan are friends again, after a long fight. Unless he's just screwing with me, which if he is I'm gonna friggin kill him.

Then me and Katie are just friends now, and I finally got it in my mind to see her as friend. It's so hard though to force yourself to look at someone differently. It took alot of stress, but now I'm happy. Cassie still likes me, but the thing is, I just can't genuinely trust her...and I hate that. I want to be her friend, but she does'nt know how to be my friend, she just likes to play flirty little games, and go out and stuff, but my kind of friendships are so much deeper than that. That's why I'm glad me and Katie are just friends, because she's so much more to me than a friend or a girlfriend, and I've always thought no one could understand anything about another person, and I've always though I couldn't trust anyone, even my friends, and I'm grateful for her showing me that I was wrong.

Alex and me are still friends, but I was planning on asking her out on the dance Friday, but they postponed the dance, so, I'll ask her then...I'm just so worried that if Katie knows that me and her are going out, than she'll hate me. But I don't know why, I had a conversation with her that I said,
"So, are you and Chris going out?"
"Yeah."
"Ha ha...me, alex, and you and him can double date..."
"So you and Alex are going out?"
"No, I just know that would be ultimate torcher for you..."
"Whew"
...what did she mean by 'whew'? I'm still figuring out why she has a problem with me going out with Alex. Katie's going out with Chris, and I don't even like her anymore, so why would she care...?

I also feel sorry for Randy...he's says he's going to break up with Rachel soon, he'll be so sad though, I'll have to try and cheer him up. Him and Rachel was never really a good relationship, Rachel was always all over Matt...and I don't even see how anyone could like Matt...I've never known anyone to like Matt. Plus, Rachel admitted to Randy that Matt was telling her things about Randy that would ruin their relationship. Stuff like, "I hate him too", or "You guys should break up."....what would Matt know about relationships?! Gah!

I'm just so worried about disappointing Cassie...she's so sweet, but she's just not that good of a friend.