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Yes, it is winter and I am talking about the sea and beach, doesn't make much sense does it? Well, not at first glance, but it really does if you take a closer look.

My parents have never liked where we lived, the neighbours are frankly odd, our house has some odd deficiancies that they apparently did not find out until after moving in (they say the guy who built it was an idiot...but I'm not so sure if it is as bad as they say), and there are a number of other things that they don't like. Every now and then they make noise about wanting to move into a nicer and possibly larger house somewhere else. Last night they did it again, but this time they sounded more serious. Now I am worried.

I'm worried because I love living here. Ignoring the fact that if we moved I'd probably have to change schools for my last year, have no friends, not understand what is expected of me and generally have a rotten time, I'd miss simply living here. To pack up my life and reduce it to something that can be put into ghastly little cardboard boxes, put into a truck and shunted off somewhere else where I will have to try and reassemble it in some recognizable form is a revolting idea to me.

Sure I'll be able to take my CDs and material objects, but what about things that I can't take? What about the fun that I had sledding with my best friends on the hill? What about lying on the floor in the living room as a kid and listening to that tape that reminded me of the ocean and beach somehow, though I'd never even seen a lake, much less the ocean? I don't even know if that was ever real. I guess it only matters that it was real to me. What about how my sister, my friends and I used to run around outside playing the most stupid games all day long? What about the biggest tree I have ever seen that was cut down all those years ago that I can barely recall? What about the memory associations I expereince every day as I go about my tasks? What about those things? Can I take those with me?

I really hope my parents aren't serious. I can't move now. Not until I am done high school. I'm not ready to let go yet, and if I do go it'll be kicking and screaming.