I am kind of sad about leaving over the week to go to my best friends house gonk because i won't get to see my boyfriend we have only been dating a month and a half which is actually my longest relationship. i keep asking myself why am i so worried to leave i have to admit to someone who does not know me...i am scared it is too good to be true ane he will find someone better than me.. redface and honestly i know he could have thousands of other girls and i keep repeatedly asking him why the hell are u with me cry and he says everytime because i like u not them...he tells me i am too self-conscious and i am i admit but i just dont want something to go bad..i quit letting people into my life 3 years ago eek and now i let another guy in....
i promised myself after corey not again never again won't happy talk2hand but it has....now i am with him....i am just waiting it out....he is the type of guy who is reserved layed back procrastinates waits for stuff to happen when it does...i have OCD and i do not prcrastinate and thinks things through so much i get sick....i am the out spoken one in the relationship and he is the reserved one....when i think there is a problem he always says i thought we were doing good...and the other day he asked me if i was still in love with corey and i replied "hypothetically speaking if corey walked in the door right now got down on one knee and apologized for everything and asked me to marry him again i would laugh and say no" and honestly i would...i care about chris too much ...the sad thing is is i can not find one reason why i like him. sad i just do and i am content with that...
i am hopeless truly hopeless
God please save my poor soul heart
 Orchids of Apocalypse · Sat Jul 21, 2007 @ 08:33am · 1 Comments |
