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Haha. So me and my dad beat the game the other night. Amazing game really, save for a few camera angle problems... And dumb snatches like Zelda. IT WASN'T EVEN ZELDA. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I'll start from the beginning.

So the game starts like this.

Narrative:
ROFLROFL LONG AGO THERE WUZ EVILZ AROUND. His name was Ganondorf. He was evil. SO YAH. HE WAS LIKE, "LAWL GIV ME UR LANDZ" and everyone was like, "ONOZ WUT CAN WE DO. Oh yes, we'll do what every helpless group of townsfolk do in every game. Sit around and complain about how the world is being taken over and go in search of little boys to defend us."

So Ganondorf was going around pwning everyone when ALLUVA SUDDEN, OUT OF NO WHERE, OUT OF THE BLUE, MYSTERIOUSLY, OUT OF NO WHERE... SUDDENLY... A boy in green appeared. He travelled through time just to save us, lol. How thoughtful is that? We even came up with this totally original and special name for this time hero. The Hero of Time. Never saw that coming, did you?

So like, then everyone was all worshipping that dude... And then he went away and stuff. And then the evil came back. And we were like, "OH SNAPZ, better call that one dude..." BUT HE WAS LIKE, "ROFL U GAIZ R SCREW'D 'CUZ I AIN'T THAR."

AND SO HYRULE WAS DEMOLISHED.

But somehow, the legend of the Hero of Time was passed on the whisper of the wind. It was all like, telling it's nature friends like the trees and the oceans and these sailors were like, "lol wut?" And stuff. So now, like... Certain villages dress boys in green when they come of age... Lol. THIS BEGINS OUR STORY.

Rofl. So yeah, we begin as this guy... Who looks exactly like a Link. But he's not Link. But he might as well be. Anyways, to make a long story short...

Link: ROFL I GOTZ TEH HERO SWERD AND TEH SPAISHAL SHEILD I WILL FITE U NAO

Pirate girl: HAI I AM TEH PIRATE OF THAT THAR SHIP. THNKS FR TH SAVING OF ME, TOO BAD UR SISTER GOT STOLE.

Link: That's okay, I'll just go on your ship and find her.

Pirate girl: ... KAY.

A lot of dumb stuff.

Pirate girl: TURNS OUT I'M ACTUALLY ZELDA. WHO WOULDA THOUGHT?

Link: TURNS OUT I'M LINK. ROFL.

Zelda: Oh wow, when I turn into Zelda, I'm like... Five shades paler.

Link: ... I'm wearing a green hat?

A lot of other stuff.

BOSSFIGHTBOSSFIGHTBOSSFIGHT.

Final boss fight.

Zelda: GIV ME UR BOWZ

Link: Get it out of my inventory. D: I'm teh lazy.

Zelda: Lawl, I'm in yer inventory, steelin' ur itemz.

Link: I don't have my Master Sword...

Ganon: LOL? -killkill-

Link: AUGH. -gets sword- NAO I WILL FITE YOU.

Ganon: Too bad I only block every attack except the parry attacks, and then even then... Sometimes I block those.

Zelda: .. OMFG I KNOW HOW TO KILL HIM. You have to distract him, right?

Link: Yeah?

Zelda: And like, hold up your shield and I'll shoot Light Arrows at your shield and it will deflect into Ganon!!

Link: ... Wait... Why would you do that? ... I... Why cant' you just shoot him with Light Arrows while I distract him? Why do I need to do the shield thing? WHY ARE YOU MAKING THIS SO MUCH HARDER THAN IT NEEDS TO BE?

Zelda: lol wut? -shoots Light Arrow at Link-

Link: -zapped- AUGH. YOU DUMB HO, SHOOT GANON.

Zelda: Hold up your shield! I'll shoot the Light Arrows at you and you'll deflect them at Ganon. Get it?

Link: But why--

Zelda: Hold up your shield! I'll shoot the Light Arrows at you and you'll deflect them at Ganon. Get it?

Link: NO, THIS IS--

Zelda: Hold up your--

Link: THIS IS RETARDED. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST--

Zelda: -shoots Light Arrows at Link-

Link: -almost dead- SNATCH.

And so this went on for, like... An hour... Yeah.. But we won. And stuff. And got back the sister. But the king died. D: That was pretty sad. But yeah. Zelda is a dumb ho.