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Today was the Senior slide show. Near the beginning, someone I once knew started calling out a name he used to call me. I looked at the picture that was up.
...I wasn't there.
I don't know what I looked like as a kid.
Every day was sadness, and I never smiled, so no one took a picture.
I was always alone, so no one knew me to be in a group, and so no one knew me at all.

It's really strange. I had so much more to say a few hours ago. Deep feelings, why I can't love, what I'm scared of. I don't remember those things anymore. My memory lies only in 2 subjects, not even in teh present. I can't remember...yesterday. It's hard to keep things at my fingertips anymore, they're lost in a mist...a red mist.

I'm not...angry..anger isn't my problem. Sadness is my problem, and anger is my solution.

It's so obvious that I need someone. I can't have anyone. The closer someone gets, the worse it hurts.

This song now..I can understand it now. What I'm hearing, the moans in my head, and screams..That's the sound of my brain cracking.