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Melancholy...
As I recover from what was either the migraine of the century or a concussion as a result of a car accident, I can't help but to be depressed at the reactions of those around me. It's surprising to find that those you'd think would care call the accident "not surprising" and tell me that "maybe now you'll learn a lesson about how you SHOULD drive" and those that I thought would only give it a passing thought and maybe a "glad you're okay" were more comforting to me than people with whom I'm better acquainted and/or more closely related, who hugged me and told me it was going to be ok or that I should go to the hospital because of the symptoms I was showing. It's depressing to me that I don't have the guts to stand up to people and tell them that it was caused by my overworked, overstressed, overtired mind, and not the result of my "crazy driving", or to demand why they don't care that I could have been hurt much worse than I was - or to explain that the experience scared me to death and I can't stop crying. And I find it sad that this happened on the first night in 3 months that I got to be with someone I've known since elementary school who moved away recently, and it has ruined my memories of the fun I had with him. I can't look at my car without remembering the jolt as my car crossed over the median and landed in the other side of the road with traffic headed my way. I like to believe that I don't let stress affect me the way it does with others but in this case it's hard to let the panic and fear and shock of the incident roll off of my shoulders the way I normally let things do. I should probably go to talk to a counselor or something but that will probably just cause me to cry and worry more than I already have been since last night. I don't know what I should do, and I guess my sitting there in front of people with no obvious injuries made it easy to believe that I was unaffected, but my brain is stuck on repeat and every time I close my eyes I feel the jolt again and now I can't focus on anything. Is this normal after a car accident, or is it just me overreacting?
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