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Ok, first week of my two week holiday is now over crying

And yet i have this nagging sensation, i just feel like i can't go back.
In the last couple weeks of school, i just could not stay cheerful for long. In geography i unfortunately got a little bit teary.
For those of you who don't know me very well, put me in a room where there's complete silence for a couple of minutes and i will crack up laughing. Play hide and seek with me, as soon as you enter the room i'm in, you'd see where i am hiding within minutes because of my laughing. So hopefully you now realise what kind of happy person i am, in other words, uncontrollably bubbly, laughing at jokes that i heard last year, and the first one to start the conga line at a party.

See for years, i've had this one girl as my best friend (Let's just call her Isabella). Since year 9 (two years ago), i feel like she's been pretty distant with me. In year 9 we were finally in the same home-room, but unfortunately so was her on-again-off-again-bf (who is a wanna-be emo, seriously he shows her knives under his bed and says, "I love you, please be my girlfriend or i'll kill myself!, or else threatens to tell her mum how far they've gone if she doesn't go out with him.)and her freaking clone!!! (to be honest, not that pretty, talks like a superficial hollywood mall rat. For crying out loud, she even copied Isabella's hand writing!). So all through out year 9, she ditched me for her bf and her clone. For serious, she only sat next to me in class in year 9 like 5 times! Why? Because she wanted help with her work, or coz one of her little followers were away. So that was practically year 9 for me.

And last year, a guy in the grade above us named Joe started hanging around with us. See, he's in the year level he's supposed to be in (year 11), but takes year 10 classes because, a)he's stupid, or b)didn't hand anything up when he was in year 10.
And God, is he a follower or what. So he started hanging with us coz he has classes with Isabella,laurena and sophie's

And Laurena, my second best friend, or personal back stabber. Just so she could feel at peace, she hung round Isabella more so she can be more in the centre of attention. (She has openly admitted to being the centre of attention, numerous times.)
Well between these four i am sure as hell lucky to even get a hey from her in the morning.
Then there was her other on-again-off-again-boyfriend Liam. Total times of going out, #7. Most selfish, chauvinistic and negative person i know. I am not exaggerating here! HE NEARLY ******** PUSHED ME OFF A BALCONY LAST YEAR!


This year i couldn't stand being ditched anymore, let alone see it in front of my own eyes while she remains completely oblivious. (Even though i have told her how i feel.) So i decided to hang around with these two girls, for a couple of weeks.
Then Laurena says to me one day in psychology, why did you ditch the group? So for awhile all i can think about is what she said and i started feeling bad i just couldn't ignore the hurt i get everytime i hang around there. So within the last few weeks of terms i started leaving the two girls and hang round with my old group. And i feel like i can only connect to 2 people in the group. Then the two girls seemed to be more sullen with me, and barely talked to me anymore. So i'm just starting to feel all alone, and barely anyone to talk to, let alone anyone to understand me.


However, something which to me is Sooo unfair happened last week. And this has frayed the last cord!


The hottest night club in the city was having an underage event and i was V.I.P. and my friends had tickets to it.
Isabella, and her mum gave me a ride there. And i said in a joking manner, Should i wait outside with you losers or walk the red carpet (since i was VIP i didnt have to wait). And her mum knows i usually talk with more swears in my vocabulary. Even so she pulls over and snaps at me. She's going on about how i shouldn't talk like that to her daughter and various other things.
After that was done we went to pick up Joe gonk . So when Isabella went to the door, her mother was explaining to me what i had done to wrong Isabella. Apparently Isabella has been talking about me, and i should know what i had done wrong and i shoud do something about it. She could've at least told me what i could do.
So blah blah blah, the club was overfilled, 500 ppl who pre-orderred tickets couldnt get in the ppl i went with didnt get in either) blah blah. So we all started walking round the city then the girls said they wanted to go to the toilet so they went into a classy hotel to use theirs. And Isabella told me what was wrong, she said it's coz i ditched her, im not spending enuff time with her and stuff like that. Me, i like avoidding confrontations, so i took everything she said. And you can not ******** believe how much that pissed me off. Im thinking to myself, how dare she say that? I've come back to the group and possibly losing two important people to me, and she dares to say that to me.

Anyway there's more to the night, but right now i just don't think i can write it.

Plz comment, tell me if im over-reacting or that it's Ok for me to be feeling what im feeling.
And yes, this is only my side to the story, but trust me i don't exaggerate hugely, this is what i say happened, and i say this is going to be closer to the truth than other people's accounts.

Catchya later
xXSerenitys-SmileXx heart