You know when you've liked someone for the longest time and you get the feeling that they know but they dont feel that way about you and it pains you. Well yeah i guess thats what i'm feeling. I've liked someone for a while but i know that it was never be meant to be. I mean we're so different and I think he finds me annoying. But sometimes when he smiles at me or when he's laughing at me I feel so...special or happy. I cant help it. Its like when he looks at me I feel like all time stops. But because he looks at me sometimes i wonder what emotions are under those eyes. Is it like or something else? I dunno its this look that i cant erase from my mind but sometimes when he looks at me with those hateful eyes or disbelief, i get so sad and it makes me want to cry. I think he knew what my feelings were in the past. And I said "after I leave I will move on with my life." But now I go and visit and I see him all happy and it make me both happy and sad. Happy that he gets a long with everyone but sad that I cant make him happy like that. Everytime i do something stupid, he will laugh or pick on me. And I enjoyed it so much!!! But now that i'm gone i cant help but miss him. And when i see him I feel like i'm a live again. But i know deep down that his heart belongs to someone else. And it pains me that thats how it is but i'm happy that he can be happy. I've liked him for so long and i dont want to like him no more. I want to let him go but I cant. There are times when he talks to me and I feel like i'm getting closer to him. Even if its just "Watch out, make sure you dont fall" or "How's the life after the party?", i still feel happy. But i guess i'll have to manage. Find someone else. Although I dont think that will work. The only thing i'm gonna have to do is just keep my head up. I just pray that God will help me. And hopefully i could move on cuz i know that he and i will never be.