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I know that I am in love. At first, I thought that it was just one of those "Nothings" But now I realize that I really care for this person. Every thing about him is perfect. How should I describe him? I'll start with his hair. Its so beautiful. Its a dark brown (usually), but in the sunlight it turns... gold. And there is little bits of blond at the ends and some strands. His eyes: There supposed to be brown, but i can see a little green in them. His eye lashes are really long and dark too. It gives him a... well it just looks cute. He has a perfect smile. Some thing I almost envy. He has large freckles and not white, but light skin. (depending if he has a tan or not). He is thin and beautiful. He is a joker, but really funny. And even when he's plain gross... Thats just guys for you. He is really good at sports and chess. He has a beautiful voice.... I think I love everything about him. And even though we sit next to each other most of the day long, I don't think I open up to him enough. Sometimes i try to make a conversation, but when i try to speak, i chock up.... Then, the fact that I want to follow him around all day, i don't wan it to seem like i am being needy or clingy. And on top of all that, I have a great number of competition. My best friend, she likes him to... My ex-friend, Phoenix likes him to. And she is always near him. Because she is being clingy. But I don't know if I could do that... Then, her best friend Savana likes him to. My new friend Ruby likes him as well. I think a few other girls that i don't know to well like him to... What should I do? I dream about him every night! I cant stop thinking about his beautiful smile. I feel like crying. WHat if he doesn't like me back?!?!?! This is my FIRST crush EVER. I don't know what would happen if it turned out that he liked someone else. I think i would ditch class and walk around the field for a while. run and act like it never happened. Then, i would curl up into a tiny ball and cry. There is not a thing I don't like about him. And i feel like... Like i don't have a chance. You don't know how much I want to be with him. But I can't tell anyone... WHAT DO I DO? I am almost crying thinking about being separated with him... And I care so much for him. I felt so... Weird when he didn't come to school yesterday. And when he came in with a hurt foot (sea urchin in his foot while surfing) I felt a stab of pain myself like i needed to help... but i didn't know what to do. I felt like a was useless and NEEDED to help. I dunno, maybe i am over reacting. But... He's... Just so perfect.
And, you wouldn't believe how many people I am lying to about the whole thing... I feel to strange... And needful. Who can i turn to, to talk to? I need to talk to someone... someone....
This is no crush. This is... love...
Now, All who read this must keep it a secret. I don't know what I would do if he found out. Would he return the feelings? And will I be to shy to say anything... ever? And if he does like me, would he move on after waiting so long??? I don't know what to do. I have never felt like this before. The moment I saw him I fell in love. And over time, more and more.


-The lonely girl with no name