I had a good childhood,
A good family,
A good life.
But good was never good enough.
I yearned for misery, for anguish.
I wanted their lives,
Their lives full of blood stained floors.
Their pain gave me inspiration.
Their scars gave me songs.
I fed on their tears, for my own selfish needs.
Grasping onto their heartbreak, so I could feel what they felt.
I wanted to see what all the cutting,
all the sleepless nights,
all the suicide
was all about.
I was sick of living in a peacful haze,
Protected by those who loved me,
But those who I hated for it.
I wanted to feel the real ripping of a broken heart,
The sickness of regret,
The slashing of someones soul.
How selfish I was.
How wrong I was.
I went where they went.
Did what they did.
Wore what they wore.
Finally I was living my dream.
But my dream became a nightmare.
They showed me things,
Things that warped the world,
Things that made illusions in my mind.
I had delved into the pool,
And I knew I couldn't get out,
Without being soaked.
I learnt my lesson that day,
The day I relised I was drowning,
The day I relised this was what I had wanted all along,
But not what I had needed.
Im in the haze again,
Its warm,
Its real.
Even still,
Poison seeps into the haze,
Making me choke when I'm alone.
I learnt my lesson that day.
Please don't learn yours.
-By Me
WEWT
xoxox heart
 [Vicious Lollypop] · Thu Jul 06, 2006 @ 05:45am · 0 Comments |
![[Vicious Lollypop]](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/40/d3/2f9f49353fd340.png?t=1247878172_6.00_00 "[Vicious Lollypop]")
