There's a smile on my face.
Wide. Expressive. "Cheesey."
I'm restless, and excited.
I'm breathless, and anxious.
There's certain things I'm thinking of constantly. Days going on, what's my future going to be like? I can see it, happy as a flipping humming bird... if humming birds flip. I'm an energetic as a fruit fly; I'm pretty sure those things
are energetic.. considering they're so ******** annoying you want to kill them. You know, whack them over your apple and say, "DIE YOU ******** FRUIT FLY!" ...
(Just don't kill me, I'm not done being loved)I'm pulling through. It's hard. It's very hard. Aha. Sometimes I would wonder, could I really pull through? Could we really make it? We have so much history; it's scary to lose him. I've lost him once before. I was the one who said, "I don't love you." And forever did it kill me. Those words still kill me. That lie. That little...
big.. lie. I'm trying to make up for it. Daily <3 I'm trying to erase it. Living off the memories that I've created (No no, I'm not mental). Living off the moments, and the soft whispers of:
"baby, I love you."
"Baby, you're the one for me."
"baby, we're going to make it, give me time."
Well. Baby, I love you too. Baby, you're the one for me, also. Hey Babe, I know we're going to make it, I never gave up, remember?
So let's say my life is basically revolving around this. My world revolves around him <3 The face that I ache to see every morning when I wake. That beautiful face <3 OO teenage sweethearts can last forever, can they? Aha, I bet they can. I know they can. They falter, but, if it's meant to be,
it's meant to be. Nothing can change that.
I saw a play last night. (Let's forget that it was called "An Interview with a Vampire," and there was not ONE vampire in it... That's what you get when you go to a play sponsored by a church..) Anyway! There's a line in it; a line that I remember so clearly.
"God has a time line for every one. There is someone for you in his time line. Don't rush it. When that special some one comes, believes in you, and loves you for you, and nothing else, that is the person God has planned for you to marry and spend the rest of your life with."
I'm not really religious. I'm agnostic, to be honest. I'm more of a "Oh Higher power, do something!" Kind of person. I don't believe in heaven, or hell. I believe in reincarnation, multiple lives, multiple existence. Yet, that line from the play, made me think. Made me smile. Because it's true. We spend our lives, dating, and dating, and going through relationships. Trying to find that special someone in our lives.
Don't rush it. He'll come to you, they told the girl,
He'll come eventually.
My love is here <3 And I couldn't be happier.
