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I dont get it,
I'm there for everyone,
Bot only very few of my closest friends are there for me.
I try to be the rock in my family,
But It's so hard to be strong,
sometimes it gets so overwellming i just shut down,
i dont talk..
eat..
drink..
sleep...
it's like I'm a prisoner in my own body..
im there but not completely...
im absent minded...
and nothing gets through...
i might fake a smile...
but you dont know what lies beneath the surface...
all the lies and hate...
the suffering of all the constant name calling and harassment...
The pain of watching one of your family members suffer because the other is to ******** stupid to see that its hurting them..
and you cant do s**t to help them..
the constant fear that someone is gonna get you..
every..single...day...of... your... life...
and you're just gonna sit there and let them do it...
i am not a fighter..
i cant fight if my life depended on it...
why?,
because i dont like hurting people...
i am the kind of person that uses words..
not her fists...
her brain...
not her strength...
my heart is damaged yet pure..
i have been through a lot..
but i keep it to myself..
i try to not let other people worry about me..
and i try to make people as happy as i can..
i can't stand watching someone i cry get hurt..
like this person...
i knew him for a few months...
and we became close...
he was an amazing person..
he had the prettiest eyes but a more beautiful personality...
we had so many things in common..
we talked every day and hung out on the weekends...
but then we became more than friends...
only cause i pushed him...
i really wish i didn't...
because it ended us..
and i miss the friendship we had..
but i miss him more...
he has been having so many issues in his life...
and i want to help...
but i know it's best to get over him..
for his sake and mine...
i acted stupid and crazy...
and i said horrible things...
im soo sorry...
now i am trying to move on from us...
but i wont stop caring and worrying about him...
i just cant..
he might be a d**k..
but i think its all an act...
oh well..
im moving on ..
trying to do better ...
and be a better person..
I guess thats it..
Life sucks and it hits you in the face sometimes, but thats how we know wether it's real or if its a dream. Cause honestly, we all need to know the difference. With out knowing, you can easily get lost and eventually you won't know the difference between whats real or imaginary.