x x x
A masochist, sadist, murderer, pyromaniac, zoophile, and necrophiliac were all sitting on a bench together bored out of their minds. To break the silence the zoophile spoke up, "Let's have sex with a cat." He suggested. The sadist spoke, "Let's have sex with a cat and then torture it." The murderer spoke, "Let's have sex with a cat, torture it, then kill it." The necrophiliac got excited and spoke. "Let's have sex with a cat, torture it, kill it, then have sex with it again." The pyromaniac spoke next, "Let's have sex with a cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again, then burn it." They all fell quiet. The masochist then sheepishly smiled at them and said, "Meow."
x x x
Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are at
the top of the tree.The boys dont
want to reach for the good ones because
they are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.
x x x
I once read a fanfic about two guys and a banana...
I will never look at bananas the same way again...
x x x
‘...If people don't listen to you, try shouting. If they still don't listen, open fire…’
‘…Never knock on Death’s door. Ring the doorbell and run, he hates that…’
‘…Never go to bed mad. Stay awake all night and plot horrible revenge…’
‘…If at first you don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught, then lie…’
‘…Why should I kill you? By all rights, natural selection should do that on its own…’
mai housse.
l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ *̡͌l̡
♥
