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ok so here it is as blunt as i can think of saying it i recently broke up with my boyfriend john things just were going no where and always fighting...but i still care for him... when we broke up he told me that moving on would make him feel better so i started dating kameron he is amazing and i love being with him and i love him... he wants to marry me and wants me to move in with him i thought it was all going to finally work out for me but john did he told me that he really wasnt happy that i was with kameron and now even though i know he isnt doing it to be mean i dont even think he knows he is doing it but he cant help but make me upset that im not with him and that im with kameron things are just so fustrating i dont know what to do i dont want to lose john as my friend but im not willing to give up kameron to stay friends why do things have to be so hard for me i want to be with kameron and i want to be happy but it seem that is a light far from my reach... man i have no clue what to do...

..... i feel so bad i feel like crap why cant i seem to do anything right .....why can i feel loved ? and dont just want lust that goes no where i want true meaning in a relationship... but even if i get that i screw it up by being to clinggy to annoying to just F'd up...will i ever find some that i wont scare off making them never talk to me again...i just want to be happy and make the one a love happy in return... will that ever happen...

the thought of being alone
chills you to the bone
the light disappearing
always fearing
the things that never come

as you lay in your bed
thoughts start running through your head
"anything is better than being alone'
the thoughtchilling you to the bone
the light disappearing
always fearing
the things that never come

why does every one keep pulling me down
i try to stand up but it seems like i keep falling into darkness

forever darkness
there's nothing to be seen
but though i cant see
i can feel
i can feel the pain the sarrow
my soul wanting to be free
but it cant
cause every one keeps pulling me down
i try to stand up,but it just seems like im going deeper into darkness

internal darkness
it seems to cover everything
even the brightest of stars
of dreams are as black as a ravens wing
it makes me wonder why every one kepp pulling me down
even thoughi try to stand up i keep falling into this forever internal darkness

will i ever get out?

i wonder why this world has let me down
i wonder why all i seem to do is frown
and why no ones ever there
ever there for me

no ones ever there to make me feel complete
and i feel like my life is just one big defeat
cause no ones ever there
ever there for me

every day i go home to try to get relief
but by time i get in side my house my heart fills with grief

and the reason why i do this is plan for me to see
cause you'll never be there again
never again for me

i know your gone forever
well... i just wonder why...

life sux nothing good ever happens to me i feel like no one cares....do you care...if you do plz comment me ...plz

my family for get me not
when you barry me to rot
my family forget me not
when my sister ties the knot
please for get me not
when my birthday comes next year
please for get me not
for christmas comes a near
i know what i did was wrong
and i know your pain will be long
but please for get me not