Friday was not fun.. I went to the mall with a really big group of friends. Two of them were singing in that karoke machine and i was talking to my BFF. I was telling her how my cousin was in the hospital and he need surgery. I also told her that 3 of my family members are drug addicts, one is a bad mother and abandoned her 4 kids, all the males in my family dont have jobs, i might be moving, and that i felt ugly and fat. Then i burst out crying and ran all the way to the bathroom and cried some more. when my friend came in she found me on the floor with my head against the sink. I told her how i wanted to cut myself and how i hated my life. She told me not to ask our friend Gabe for a razor because then Vinny would get really mad at me. Then as we were leaving the bathroom my mom texted me saying they were going to see a movie. When i looked up they were twenty feet away. I told my friend to help me lie. My mom asked me why i looked like i was crying and i told her that i fell and banged my elbow on the bench. She believed me, and they left. It was the first time i had actually talked about my feelings to anyone so the entire night i had that feeling in my stomache that felt like if i didn't cry i was gonna like throw up or something. Then the guy i like came up to me and asked if i was alright, and i lied to him to, even though i really wanted to hugg him and cry in his shoulder.
Yeah nott the best day of my life. sad
Yeah nott the best day of my life. sad
