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I'm almost 19 and for a while I wasn't sure if I was going to make it past my birthday. Because you see lately I've been tempted to kill myself and I figured that my birthday was the perfect time so I could stay a teenager for ever. I don't like my life because I have nothing to live for anymore besides my computer and reading. I don't have any real friends or family and my own girlfriend doesn't even care about me. My "friends" only call me if they need somethig or as a last resort when everyone else is busy and my best friend since 5th grade hasn't talked to me in over 3 months because she doesn't call and I don't have a number to call her. I haven't seen or heard from my girlfriend in over 2 months. I don't even have any real family cuz my brother and I don't get a long and I only see my mom about 4 times a year. I even posted in my status that I was going to kill myself and only one of my 45 gaian friends cared enough to ask me if it was a joke or not and I barely even know her but she talked me into staying in the land of the living. So I'm here to stay but for how much longer is still a mystery to me.

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