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Reality unraveled beneath our hearts |
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Pacing,
scratching for truth, there he was pacing down that long hallway.
Something I had never dared think of, someone I never wanted to see in so much
discomfort in my entire life.
Leaping back wards.
There I was- backing away none the less, feeling helpless,
as if every second we had shared together was now our last.
Every smile was just a false hope, a false string of energy tied down.
To nothing more but a dead light bulb dangling over our heads, peering down on us, telling us right this second we were all along wrong and misunderstood.
So with all that in my mind, I ran, not to fast not to slow but surely enough I ran.
I had not one clue where my body had in mind for me to go nor where I was going all along. I watched the other girl's scatter closer in there clique's as I paced myself around them. Begging anyone but god to make sure they wouldn't approach me now of all times. I peered back occasionally at the thick rimmed wooden door,
trying to keep just enough of an eye on what he was doing.
Then, the last time I looked back, I remember that shriek, as if it still haunted me all those nights, as if I was still helpless and trapped in this weak body.
That one simple loud worried shriek, altered every aspect of my very life.
My eyes were locked on his face up until the noise triggered me to get down as well as other's. We were then forced by our bodies instincts to lay face down on the floor. I peered anxiously around the room, but couldn't lift my head up high enough off the ground to figure out where exactly he was. Where ever he could possibly be at this point was not documented up until now.
I can't recall how horrifying that noise was ticking in my ears, as if any random second it would burst my ear drums or brain. "I said get the ******** down!"
I remember, panicking severely, by lifting my head up a tad, then quickly laying it down repeatedly. "I thought I screamed loud enough for you to hear!"
His voice was revolting, I wanted to just lift my head higher as I shook and tell him -I'm not too fond of you, and your yelling!-. But I didn't, I couldn't bring myself to risk my life for everyone shaking on the floor in that very room. I waited, impatiently, for the man dressed in leather pants to leave, but he insisted to over welcome his stay. "HELLLLP ME!"
I listened to the helpless shriek, and told myself I was going to get up this time, and actually do something. But instead I adjusted my hands and arms to where I could maneuver my body easier to crawl towards a near by computer table to hide for the time being. I tilted my head against the leg of the table, and hid behind the cluster of cords and out lets. Later, maybe within five or seven minutes, I regrew some strength, emotionally to start thinking more clever and rationally.
"Shut your mouth"
"pull your legs in near your face"
"go ahead and cry"..!!
Over and over, I sat there listening to this man's abuse, I started to wonder how much of a worse life he'd had then I did. Was he beaten? Raped? Or just ignored and neglected? Then finally, I shook my head in disbelief, and forced myself to continue to listen to this rubbish not matter how angry or cranky it made me become. .
"Take it off"~
"me"? said a smaller voice.
"YES YOU!"
I couldn't take it, I really couldn't I had sat here and barred it all, taking it all in like an extremely hot cup of tea, but now, no, it was burning my lips!
"stop it, stopppp"
whinnied the girl
as if that would stop this monster.
And before I could get up unnoticed, I was panting, and he turned around, glancing me in my beady eyes, as if I was the one who wasn't anywhere near a human being!
"Uh, can I help you!"
"as a matter of a fact you can you sick **cker"
"oh and how's that little girl"
he said through a laugh.
"Leave her the hell alone"
"What'd you say little s**t!?"
"I said,,,
(At that very moment, I felt my throat sink inward, my hands grow wetter and I felt myself uncontrollably made a fist. My eyes were focused the whole time on his gun, and nothing more.
I then heard, a sudden bit of movement from around the entire room, every one was slowly approaching me, some faster then other's.
I just stood there, staring half dazed and completely lost in another world.
I...
had.
actually stood up to this punk.
And now he was laying face down on the ground, like all of us were once.
Except his leg was twitching and his left eye that wasn't swollen and bleeding, was half way open.
I never thought I had that much anger in me to kill a man,
but I guess,..
I felt like I owed him something.
So, I let him go.
It wasn't a quick goodbye, I recall him glancing into my weeping eyes, as if it would find all his answers, I looked away ashamed, in fear he was born with some crazy ability to in fact,read my every thought.
"uh, are you going now" he barked.
"um sure. but one more thing"...I wanted to scream out more.
---"can you tell me how to find the man that watched me try to take your lives and.." his last words died out like a smaller voice on a overwhelming windy day.
"and what!" I blurted out anxiously and curiosity got the best of me.
,"I said! Can you help me find the fellow that witness this act"?
"I don't know, can you explain to me first why your here and tried to scare each of us s**t less?" My voice was quavering, by now.
"And, tell me exactly sweetie, why I should do this"?- he replied.
"Maybe, just maybe do you think you've had enough of harming us in such a womanly manner...maybe you could"
"WHAT!?"
"Forget it"- I told him.
"hahaha, poor little girl, trying to seek revenge through words, as if that would suit either of us, I'll tell you, but listen extremely closely, it'll only be said once"
(I leaned against the brick wall and made me eyes fix on him in a settle manner as I felt my back tense up)
"you are aware that's really no way to treat a man, of this nature"
(I nodded and pretended to make myself seem more approachable so he'd open up, so I leaned more against the wall and lifted my head generously up towards his face)
"You see, I am just as much as a human as you are, I have practically the same emotions,,"
(I tried not to laugh aloud, I mean after all he really didn't seem too much like the "human type", well to me at least. I stood anxiously waiting for my full report, my full summary of HIS side of the story)
"I'm not going to elaborate on exactly my whole life story, just the big pieces that brought me here. You see, I was causally walking down 51st and Hafentoff, when a rather suspicious man approached me out of nowhere. He was overly giddy, like a young child and quite apparently couldn't hold in a secret or two if his dear life depended on it"
(I glanced around the room for a quick second, it's not that I wasn't interested in his story. It was just that I was curious to see if anyone was in the room but him and I. And sure enough, we were perfectly alone)
(He continued on, after noticing I was back to looking him in the eyes)
"After all, not everyone could hold in too much tension, I spite myself for saying this, but I felt horrible for the man. He later told me his name was Marshall,, and he was there to deliver a message. He firmly told me not to look to far up but instead look a little further down. I then glanced at the ground, to notice there was a note, it wasn't on up to date note book paper. But instead in a minella envelope, and as I picked it up and over looked it's contents, which were a bold printed letter, both front and back. I then followed every direction the brief letter told me, and it brought me back to here"
(I felt him nudge me, I guess I was half awake at this point, it wasn't that the story was boring, it was more so that his voice was always a mono tone when he would rant. And after all it shouldn't have mattered I did however understand everything he had "ranted" about.)
"oh... But that doesn't tell me anything, mister"
(I blurted out, and questioned myself, for showing so much respect as to call him mister.)
"Well, I'm not finished now am I? I was just making sure you were closely paying attention"
"yes, yes sir, I was"I giggled.
"uhuh right.anyway, back to my prior part of the story. And therefore, I clutched the letter tightly as I paced and nearly stumbled around New York cities busy streets. As the rapidly moving people's feet could barely keep up with the rest of there bodies, what a new sense I thought"
(He sighed for a brief moment, as if to take it all in, I surely felt bad for this guy, he was directed to basically do something he didn't want to commit what so ever.)
"Well, I will tell you exactly what the letter read, almost every word, but better yet here"
(His manly hairy arms extended towards my chest, handing...yet that same envelope he very well described, I felt my arm twitch, and tried to pace myself to not open it to eagerly)
it read something along these lines:
Dear William,
I know you are trapped inside your mind from time to time, as if you were just a helpless soul getting swept up into an old marriage. I cannot tell you enough, how important it is to let her go after all she never loved you. She was filled with lust and desire to make only one thing go her way. The sex. Other then the sex, she once quoted this very statement. "William, I can't afford to keep living a tragic lie, that orbits around thousands of other lies. I know you thought I was made out to be your perfect idea of a woman. But I cannot keep these lies from you any longer.
By the time you read this, I want you to know, I'm terribly sorry it took so damn long for me to come completely clean to you. I know the drugs that you weren't aware of, made me a rotten person, if not a miserable person.
Please do not hesitate just yet, I am not quite finished there's far more to confess to you. The first night of after being a newly-wed to you and you went out to the gym. I took the honors of making your older brother forcefully stop harassing me non stop. Him and I decided , together that we were going to meet at Aunt Sam's diner. From there on things seemed to progress into something more, he kissed my neck in the seat booth. We ended up basically stumbling home drunk together, and yes I know this might be a surprise to you William, But we had passionate sex, I never thought I could fall head over heals with someone like that very night. And there's more, I quit my job one day, I'm almost positive I quit on January 15th. Anyway, and then I would secretly stay home wait until you went to work early in the morning around 5am. Then I would run to the car, and meet up with him at his apartment, and we'd talk for hours about Politics, sports, and our daily business. I do not feel entirely guilty for such acts, because I am not one to hold onto regret none the less a simple mistake. Afterwards, on Saturday November 21st I recall going home alone after seeing your brother for four days straight. And injected a ridiculous amount of heroine into my veins. I swear it was all for you baby!
Everything was to benefit you.
Sincerely Ethan Smith.
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"I'm done William" I said in a terrified low voice.
"Oh, But don't ever call me William, please call me Max".
"Sure thing Max"
(I said while handing over the letter. Such a horrifying letter I thought to myself.
"Thank you" He grinned politely.
"Oh, and Max... I don't hold it against you for almost killing everyone here today"
(I smiled half way, and was praying he would be even more polite about what he said next)
"Thank you",(his whole face lit up like a birthday cake)
" and now shouldn't you be leaving, and making your way home. oh and promise me one thing?"
"yesss.?" That one word seemed to sound like a hiss, but a rather cute one?
"Can you promise never to tell a soul about this letter, and your internal experiences today and tonight"?
"No problem, Don't worry, I can assure you, your secrets safe with me." I then glanced deep into his eyes.
( I then hugged Mr. Max goodbye, and paced myself as I calmly jogged out of the computer room, down the stairs, and out to my car)
(God what a guy, what a battle field, what a true spirit he was)
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"Allison!"
"Allison!"
(I tossed and turned, and finally my eye lids rose up as if I was in some sort of seizure and had no absolute control over my own body)
"God damn you, Allison"!
"Ughhh, what?!"
"Get down here, right this instant"
"what .. .the.....FINE"
(I found myself unable to move out of my bed, I was so lost at that very moment, I was speechless, flabbergasted, everything you could possibly think of hit me right then and there.. "It can't be."
"It can't be," I repeated twice.
I thought harder, until my head hurt. Like not an average migraine -more like deadly hurt kinda pain. And then I sat up right, and collected every thought.
No no, but what about
Max, his wife, Ethan, the man watching us at the door
all the shrieking crying faces full of worry.
"Allison, hurry up!"
(I snatched my favorite pair of jeans and hoodie, quickly pulled them over my head and legs, and bolted out the door)
"ugh I'm coming- damn it!"
((The End)))
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You should be asking yourself, does the obstacles consequences or the outcome out weigh the true story of the morals? In other words, would you actually like to be remembered as a cheater, liar, unfaithful, sneaky revengeful person?
 Emperor Cheshire_666 · Thu Dec 04, 2008 @ 02:52am · 1 Comments |
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I can't thank you enough even from the start up until now.
The moment you chose her over me, then soon after that you asked me out.
The moment you stuck by my side, through my abusive mother's out bursts to my own out bursts. The moment, we were sitting behind the Regal theater, you were so loyal and sincere as I sobbed my eyes out, and my make up looked almost like a zombie, The first day we actually met in person, we both took it a bit to far, but I knew I liked you a lot at that time, but here we are vowing our love for one another.
Which is exactly how it should be and should remain as. The moment- you took my lonely hand and held it, the night you blurted out you loved me without hesitation. The moment of shock covered my face, and sure enough a smile curled up around my mouth, as I said it back. The moment- we sat down near the lake near the Wellington Green mall, and I was paranoid people walking or driving by could see me sitting next you blushing. The first time we kisses, it was rough, and my emotions ran wild like a circuit caught on fire. The moment I made the first phone call to you, I'm sure my voice was shaky, raspy and my mind was even more so naive. The moment, we went on our first date to the movies, you tried to snuggle close to me, but the seating arrangement ruined our kissy time. The moment I tried to be controlling by not letting you see a certain girl, I was envious of but now I think how pathetic that was back in the day. The moment- I wrote you my first poem, and from what I recall you though it was ok. The night I introduced you to my mom and step dad, where I was living at the time. How nervous I was that you'd do or say something terribly wrong, and they'd never look at you the same way ever again. The moment we had our first argument, it was tough, crude and immature. All the times, I would go to your house before I ended up moving in, all the times I begged you to sit in the back of your Uncle's car, only because I felt the need to feel fear of him, at the time. I can't explain that, but it's true!
The time, I would call you up with friend's and it would somehow get you worried, because you knew I was around gay guy's with drugs and booze. The time, I moved in with Keoki, and liked it at first but he made me miserable. The time, you first met my dad, step mom, older sister and little siblings.I remember the time I got jealous because you seemed to not be giving me the attention I wanted at that time, and you were simply helping my little brother play a retarded video game. God Was I stupid. The time, I had confessed I'd done pot, (which happened more then once)The time I wallowed in guilt and told you of all the secrets I had kept from you.
The time, I made you that show box and decorated it with magazine clippings, and thought it looked amazing, but felt shy about it, and insecure so I took it back. Hell it's sitting in my room here right now. The time, I screamed at you over something extremely minor and you almost swerved off the road, and I wanted to slap you. The time, I went over your place with your Uncle and you, to meet your Mother, Step dad, and younger twin sister's. God were they just as annoying as they were then. And at that same time, I had brought a cake over, I remember it was Easter, and I was all excited, and you got me that little pink bear from build a bear and that gorgeous necklace I never wear now. Due to I feel it might break, hell honestly, it's so thin, pretty but I wouldn't ever let anyone touch it but you and I, in fear it would break! And the time, I bought you that engagement right, and two days before my birthday, you got me one too, god was that perfect. ::Jesus::.
THERE'S SO MUCH MORE, BUT I NEED TO CUT THIS SHORT.
I LOVE YOU!
Emperor Cheshire_666 · Thu Dec 04, 2008 @ 12:36am · 1 Comments |
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I would like to acquire you with my skills,
But if you should feel lonely in the process, don't blow this guild.
As for I may not the best at role playing, no
I may not be the best for thinking before I decide what I'm saying,
I wanna dress your character up
in the most displeasing attire, make you think twice before the next time you..
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Wow, I am rather bored.
My hubby just left, and I think I'm going to settle in, and
eat a hot dog or two,
as for him, he's busy trying to beat rush hour X.o
Poor little guy..
Well,
bye
Emperor Cheshire_666 · Wed Dec 03, 2008 @ 11:53pm · 0 Comments |
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Yeah So basically, I just made a Gaia, not really to talk to people or meet someone interesting, but whatever happens happens. I'm not really into anime, use it against me or not, doesn't make a difference,
I'm new to this, and I made a Gaia only for my boyfriend,
None of this interests me, and I guess it won't hurt though to make something and try to work on it, and finally to have a new interest (maybe) stare
Emperor Cheshire_666 · Wed Dec 03, 2008 @ 02:00am · 1 Comments |
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