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It's never too late to start over, for the gates to the future are never closed.


Talon Nokone
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It's an Entry about Me! =D
Hey everyone! ^_^
Alright, I sort of took this outline from my best mate, Laura/Penanna. But hey, she's quite bright.
My name is Barry C. Conley, I was born on August 25th, 1986 (making me 18 years young). I am 5'10 tall and I average of 150 lbs. I have dark hair, light tan skin, and brown eyes. As some dear once said, "I am Selectively Emotional" Uhh... most would consider my personality "Unique and Determined"
Some of my interests include: Computers, Anime, Theatre, Japan, Angels, England, Star Wars, Cosplaying, and Interactive Media. Oh yes... and Music! Ya can't he for real if you don't like some kind of music.

One thing I often always do is work myself sick, litterly. I tend to not care about my own personal needs, while I struggle for hlping others to get their needs. Not very healthly, but I get around. I care more about my friends then myself. =/

S p e c i f i c s
01. Do you do drugs? -- Nope, expect the drugs the doctor told me to take.
02. What kind of shampoo do you use? -- Anything Mom buys at the store. However I did find this one shampoo that I really liked. It was blue and smelled like the rainforest. ^_^
03. What are you most scared of? -- Dying Alone, losing a friend that I could have prevented, disappointing everyone who looks up to me, and letting my emotions get the better of me.
04. What are you listening to right now? -- Suiten Fur Violoncello
05. Who is the last person that called you? -- Kathryn Lee Punches. 3nodding
06. Where do you want to get married? -- In one of those old fashion churches, or outside. Which ever.
07. How many buddies are online right now? -- Too many! More then 20.
08. What would you change about yourself? -- Nothing, I like myself the way I am. But I would like it if I didn't get sick. =P
09. Any tattoos or piercings? -- Hell no.
F a v o r i t e
01. color: -- Black, Silver, and Ice Blue
02. food: -- Pasta =D
03. boys' names: -- Karou, Kasmo, and uhh... well I like how unique my name is.
04. girls' names: -- Isabella, Laura, Kasondra, Kathryn, and Brittani.
05. subjects in school: -- English Language, Sociology, Biology, and Government.
06. animals: -- Foxes, Penguins, Praying Mantises, Blade Eagles, and Nile Crocodiles. Probably more but I can't think of them. =P

H a v e | Y o u | E v e r
01. given anyone a bath? -- Well.. Kathryn (my girlfriend) and I have bathed together. That has got to count for something. sweatdrop
02. smoked? -- I utterly hate cigerettes!!
03. bungee jumped? -- Never have done it, but I'll try it.
04. made yourself throw up? -- Nope
05. skinny dipped? -- Yes... many times.
06: ever been in love? -- I was...once, a long time ago.
07. made yourself cry to get out of trouble? -- When I was younger I believe so.
08. pictured your crush naked? -- O=)
09. actually seen your crush naked? -- Oh yea! wink
10. cried when someone died? -- Yes. =(
11. lied? -- Of course, it's be a lie to say you never lied.
12. fallen for your best friend? -- yea... =/
14. rejected someone? -- Saddly yes, and it wasn't easy.
15. used someone? -- Nope, i wouldn't have the heart to.
16. done something you regret? -- A few things, but I don't look back and dwell on them.

C u r r e n t
clothes: -- Black sliky button up shirt with the sleeves rolled back to the elbow, black jeans with a chain on the left side and the pantlgs rolled inside the pants to just below the knees. Black knee-high socks pulled up to the rolled up pant legs, and shoes. Oh yea, a Dark groved on my left arm that goes up to the elbow. A elbow pad to hold it up and another smaller glove on tome of the longer grove (for grabbing stuff).
music: -- 'T.A.T.U - All the things she said (extension 119 club vocal mix)'
make-up: -- Non is on me right now, Only when I'm on stage.
annoyance: -- People.
smell: -- I can't smell too well at the moment, I have a cold.
favorite artist: -- I'm not sure. I like alot of artist. So to name off a few of them: Blink 182, Avril Lavigne, Simple Plan, Orchestrals, Prodigy, and T.A.T.U. Just to name off a few. =3
favorite group: -- Oh God, just look to the preivous question >.o
desktop background: -- zyx007_jpg_wp__1096514660___67085f13 (Yuri- Two girls are laying on the floor stairing up at the ceilling (ei: the camera). One wears white strap-on pantie-hos and corcept, and a nurse's hat. The other one wears black strap-on pantie-hos, a red loosen tie around her neck and a lab-cost.)
book you're reading: -- Jerry Seinfeld - SeinLanguage
cd in player: -- A CD I burned myself, composed of many insturmental songs.
dvd in player: -- None at the moment. I usarally put my DVDs away when I'm done. neutral

L a s t | P e r s o n
you touched: -- Meowith, my cat.
hugged: -- Kathryn
you imed: -- Laura/Penanna
you yelled at: -- Some idiot at school.

A r e | Y o u
understanding: -- It's a gift I sometimes let get the better of me.
open-minded: -- Very much so. =)
arrogant: -- We are all Arrogant, that's how we learn.
insecure: -- Yea, I get alittle up-tight and paranoid sometimes. But Kathryn is fixing this.
interesting: -- Well... everyone says I'm very unique. sweatdrop
random: -- Impulse is my middle name! =D
hungry: -- Nearly 90% of the day...but yet i can't get fat. neutral
moody: -- Meh... I have my moments.
hardworking: -- Kathryn says I overwork myself too hard and my body is screaming to take a break and care about itself.
organized: -- Well... thanks to Vata-02 (my PC), I am more organized then anyone I know.
healthy: -- For the most part of things, I am a very healthy person, but I'm sure something is broken and I don't know about.
shy: -- Hardly, I am the person who makes the first move normally. wink
difficult: -- Oh yes... many times. xd
attractive: -- *shrugs* I'm happy with the way I am, but I can't imagen what people see in me. neutral
bored easily: -- So boring... Can't....focus....argh.
messy: -- All great minds are messy people.
responsible: -- When I'm on my own, I am pretty responsible, but put on zero hours of sleep, super glue, a friend, and lots boredom and we got ourselves a freaken party!! xd
obsessed: -- ...with? neutral
angry: -- With myself, or stupid mistakes. We all hate our stupid mistakes.
sad: -- I tend to be depressed, or thinking depressing thoughts. But that's how I make my art... and no. I'm not depressed right now. Just tired. =P
disappointed: -- Only with the things I can't change.
Happy: --I show happiness, but right now I'm just tired.
hyper: -- No, I'm not insane at all... I'm just on a never ending sugar rage. wink
trusting: -- Sometimes too trusting.
talkative: -- "If it's one thing Barry Conley is quite good at, it's that he's a very socialible person."

W h o | D o | Y o u | W a n n a
kill: -- Don't ask... the answer may be confusing.
slap: -- Mrs. Larabee
get high with: -- My homie G. xd El oh El, but seriously. What kind of a stupid question is that?
look like: -- Myself, because I like the way I look.

R a n d o m
in the morning i am: -- Surprisingly cheerful and awake.
all i need is: -- To love and be loved in return.
love is: -- Pointless for those who don't accept it.
i dream about: -- Anything, Everything and Nothing.

W h i c h | I s | B e t t e r
coke or pepsi: -- Pepsi, duh!
flowers or candy: -- Uhh... Flowers.
tall or short: -- Both have their purposes.

O p p o s i t e | S e x
what do you notice first: -- The person's aura.
who do you have a crush on: -- Two people to be honest, and it's a rather differcult love triangle.
who has a crush on you: -- Lots of people acturally. sweatdrop

D o | Y o u | E v e r
wish you were younger: -- Sometimes I wish i were 6 years old again.
cry because someone said something to you: -- Yes. =(

F i n a l | Q u e s t i o n s
do you like filling these out: -- It's alright. It acturally took me two days because I am busy. I just filled this out on my free time.
gold or silver: -- SILVER!!! ALWAYS SILVER!!!!
what was the last film you saw at the movies: Sahrara, with my father. It wasn't bad.
favourite cartoon: Some of the cartoons are so stupid they are funny. Like Futurama and Family Guy.
what did you have for breakfast this morning: Two bowls of ceral, and my medication.
could you live without your computer: -- I tried... but I need Vata-02!!!
would you color your hair: -- I always wanted to put a silver strik on the left side of my head.
like watching sunrises or sunsets: -- I love sunrises, because it brings forth a new day. ^_^





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JEN=06
I am feeling stressed right now... But I wanna make this as blunt and as simple as I can...

I want to be Laura's friend, and I want her as my friend. I wanna not feel so uncomfortable talking to her like I have for the past... argh oh god. Since July 27th, 2004. I wanna be her friend, I just wanna be friends. But I want her to remember me as something more then just a friend. redface




Talon Nokone
Community Member
dev1



Talon Nokone
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JEN=05
I don't know what to say... I just wanna be noticed by my friends. Was what i did a mistake? Was meeting Laura a big idea? Doesn't she care about me anymore? Why doesn't she show she cares? I want to be held by her, I want to be loved. Why don't she hold me anymore, why won't she tell me she loves me. I am selfish, I want her love, I want her affection. I have a horrible greedy monster inside me that wants her demonstrative love only for myself and shared with no one else. I don't wanna push her away, but i don't know how to shut up. Shut up! Shut Up Barry! You are just hurting yourself again.

She said she'd love me, forever and a day. And I continue to believe that all the way. But is it really worth it? To wait for her? Is it worth my time, is she worthly of my love? Why doesn't she acknowledge it? Why doesn't she see how much i care about her?

I use to be special in her life, but now i'm just there... she use to have feelings, but she doesn't know anymore. What did i do wrong? Why can't I save her? I traveled over 4000 miles to look her in the eyes and tell her how much I love her. But she still doesn't believe it anyone could love her. I can't stop... I don't think I could ever stop loving her. She is my Angel and she taught me things, valuble morals in life. But it seems like now she has stopped believing in herself. I have to have her remember... She once told me everything we had was true... but how could she just not acknowledge her own feelings anymore? I am here for her... i love her. I need to help her believe again.

She makes me angry sometimes and I wanna hate her sometimes, but I can never stop loving her. She has trouble remembering things... but i don't hold them against her, no matter how irritating it gets. Is what i'm doing right? Is this the answer God? You said I'd be the one to save her... I won't let myself give up on her... I care about her too much.

Her and I are so much alike... but the only major difference between us is that I admit to wanting help, and she doesn't. She needs help, and she knows it. But she is just too stubborn to admit to it. I need to be the Angel she claimed I am and save her the way she saved me.

Oh God... I Love Her... heart





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JEN=04
Before I start you might be wondering where JEN=03 is and well... I had spent 3 hours typing it and just as I was finishing up on it, I got it all. I got pretty upset and cried for awhile. cry I had typed some really personal profound subjects that I didn't even wanna acknowledge. However, afterwards, I talked about those subjects to me best mate, Chad and my good friend Ariana. Who took the liberty of making atlest two entries in this already. sweatdrop

But now to get started... I am once again missing my Angel, Laura Jacques. I can't help it. I miss her. cry I'll always miss her when she's away. I'll make her voice when she's not talking to me, I'll miss her typed words when she's IMs me, I'll miss her soft misty green eyes when she's looking at me, and I'll miss the gentle sound of her heart when it beats, cry

I can't help it... I just miss her when she's gone. I may not worry about her as much because I know she's an extremely strong person, but I still miss her. I love her... and therefore I miss her. redface heart Damn.... she's a great person. I just pray she realises it. I pray she understands how important she is, even if it's not to me. But to herself. redface I Love that silver winged Angel! cry heart redface




Talon Nokone
Community Member
dev1



Talon Nokone
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JEN=02
I want Laura's attention, but I'm too scared to ask for it. I use to never have to ask. I fee like she just turned all she felt for me around. I feel so cold and alone now.




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JEN=01
Well So much has already happened already, but It's never too late to start on these things, ne? Yea.... so let me get started with what is bothering me today.

Well 1st off... Chad is being stupid. He thinks I am avoiding him, which I am not. I'm not like him in that case. He wrote me an e-mail yesterday saying his "goodbye" to me. lol what a joke. I am honestly not even taking Chad completely serious. He is taking this like a High School Conflict. A stupid pointless misunderstanding. I feel like he doesn't take concideration into my thoughts and feelings. Like the world revolves around him. -_-

But I can see why he is upset and he has every right to be. But to take it to the extreme and end our friendship and just forget it all.... that seems rather dumb if you ask me. But how could he do that to me. Everything I ever told him, shared with him, done with him, he is just going to forget?! What the bloody hell! stressed scream Grow up Chad!!!

How could he hurt me like this. Now that I think about it, it seems like everyone has taken my feelings into their own hands. To use my guilt and emotions against me to do what they want, not even taking my feelings into concideration. I am tired of people hurting like that. I don't want to be weak anymore. Everyone is against me...

However there are two people I can think of who havn't ever taken my feelings and twisted them around like that. Ariana Bye and my Angel, Laura Jacques.

...Oh I miss Laura. I miss seeing her, and touching her, and when I slept beside her. I can't stand being away from her. I don't want to be away from her. I can't stop loving her... she is so kind to me. She is one of the few I acturally open up to. But I'm even scared to do that. I'm afraid of telling Laura how I feel because... I don't want her to hate me. I don't want to lose her as my friend. I don't want to be alone. cry

Alot of the time I talk to her, she makes me feel happy, even if she doesn't rechange the same feelings anymore. It hurts me to be with her but he enlighten my soul to be close to her. She still cares about me, almost to a point of love. She told me I'll never be alone and she'll never forget me and that makes me feel better. I don't mean to get paranoid alot, but I do and my relationships suffer. I blame myself for our break up. But even she was part to blame she says. But I'll never stop loving her... I don't think i could stop. I am greatful she allows me to admire her from a-far. redface

Wow... writing in one of these is nifty! 3nodding All ya do is type, type, type and all your thoughts are organized. ^_^ But even if they are organized, I still want someone other hen myself to know how I am feeling. I want to be heard. I want other to know how I am feeling.

That's why i called Ariana so much. She listens to me like Laura does. Ariana is such an awesome friend that i wanna cry for all the things she does for me. If i asked she would sing right there and then for me. She really isn't shy at all. biggrin

I don't feel worthly of my friends, because I feel like I havn't suffered as much as most of them did in their lifes. I really don't want any of my friends to hurt at all. I wish i could take in all their pain into myself and just suffer alone.

But as Laura said to me," we all need to suffer alittle. " Then after watching the "Ah! My Goddess" movie with her, I see that's true. It's amazing how Animes can change your life's moral codes. xd I've had way too much Evangelion! eek I need more Trigun and stuff. sweatdrop

But to get back on track alittle... Laura is right. I can't make myself suffer to amke others happy, because I am still a person too that desevres happiness. heart

The Angel on Earth,
Barry C. Conley




Talon Nokone
Community Member
dev1


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