Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I wish I wasn't so useless to everyone. All I ever seem to do is cause problems. I hate myself for causing everyone problems. Maybe this world would be better off if I was never born... Maybe my family would be happier without a parasite like my leeching off of them. Everyone would be better without me. I wish I wasn't so damn selfish. Wanting their time and affection. Wanting to be the one that can help them... But I'm nothing. Nothing, but an annoyance. Maybe if I was smarter and a better person I could be helpful. Instead I'm so useless. I wish I wasn't so useless. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being so annoying. I'm sorry for being so sad and needy. I wish I could disappear so everyone would be happier without me. I wish I was never born. If it would make everyone happier I would disappear. Will it make everyone happier? I keep failing at being useful. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't want anyone to really hate me. I'm sorry for pushing you away, I don't know what to do. I feel so scared and sick. I'm so sorry being a failure. I'm sorry, I really am for feeling like this. Please don't hate me. I'm really sorry. I really am trying, I am, I think I am. Aren't I? I don't know anymore. I ******** hate myself, why can't I be normal? You'd be better off with someone else, but I'm so selfish that I don't want to give you away. I'm so sorry you had to love someone like me. I'm really sorry. I wanted to make everyone happy, but I keep failing. Why does it always hurt? I'm sorry.